Hi all,
Just after a little advice and I know this will be unbiased.
3 months after I got with my boyfriend, he told he was a gambling addict and had taken loans and all out and now is £20k in debt.
He sorted it all out himself and said he would get help.
Then 4 months later he gambled his wages.
I have now come to find that he has been gambling again for the past few months and I'm now confused on what to do and where to go from here.
He doesn't have access to bank card but has been sending money to brother and he has been taking it out for him. His brother is rather naive and does not know of his gambling.
I do love him but I am so confused on what to do. Can relationships survive this? I want to help him on his journey to recovery but I know I need to put myself first and think of my future.
The bald truth is you can't help him until he wants to be helped and that may be tomorrow, it may be way in the future it may be never.
You're not tied to him with mortgage or children. Think about what life might be like if you were and he won't give up then think about whether you're up for that. You're right in saying you need to put yourself first. If I were advising my daughter I'd tell her to run a mile.
I would heed those comments, and also read more threads in this subsection. You are fortunate in that you and your boyfriend do not have a huge amount of history or baggage tying you together.
He is not ready to stop yet. Think about where you want to be in 5-10 years time, and whether being with your boyfriend is going to work. A house, kids, a secure future? These are things we all wish for, and something serious gamblers cannot offer.
You asked whether relationships can survive this. yes, but they are in the STRICT miniority, and it takes years of hard work and stress.
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