Am I wasting my time?

Hi there,

Reading your post makes me realise that this is how my gf must feel. She has been through years of my gambling lies, having to pay for things when I couldn't, having to deal with the embarrassment of us having nothing because I gambled it all away.

She's an unbelievably fantastic mum, she lost her mum when she was 16 and also lives with a Thyroid issue that makes her tired often. I feel so guilty about what I've done and continue to do, but she's always there and for those times, sometimes months, when I don't gamble, we are amazing... Like it's so good. Then crash I destroy her again. Why does she hang in there? Why do you? 

I just want to say, thank you. Thank you for being supportive to somebody struggling, but a gamblers selfishness knows no limits, so make sure you're getting help and can talk to often to someone other than your partner.

Sounds like without gambling, you 2 are the perfect team... 

I hope your situation improves x

Hi

No going to meetings is where you get hoest with your self.

For me Gambling was a form of self abuse.

Working for months years and giving my hard earned moeny to strangers while I live in fears and frsutrastions feeling like aloner in my guilt shame and regret.

Every meeting you go to you get to understand how unhealthy gambling was for me.

When I went gambling I simple made things much worse and more painful for my self and people that loved me..

Also the simple truth by going to gambling I felt worse abotu myself.

Time invested in meetings increases your honesty your faith in your self, it reduces your fears and in time you heal your pains.

Dave L

welcome heres some tips....

Number 1:

GET BLOCKS IN PLACE

Gamstop for online

Moses for local bookies

And Sense for uk casinos

It’s essential to do them all (you may say i only ever gamble online, or i only ever gamble in bookies) but down the line when you want to scratch that gambling itch or are impulsive like myself, Online, bookies and casinos become tempting.

Number 2:

When you get paid, pay all bills then transfer rest to a loved one for safe keeping.  Then it’s not in ur account waiting for the moment ur tempted by gambling its safe and sound and if you do really need it it’s there (either that or start to pay off highest interest debt each month (this will help massively), 

I transfer my money to my dad and have saved a lot over the years.

I top up my sainsburys card each month when i get paid for food shopping.

Number 3:

Limit the damage you can do with one visit to town:

The number of times in the past i’ve visited a cash machine for the bookies until i can’t get any more cash out!!!! Let’s save that!!!!

 U can limit cash withdrawals (just ask your bank)

You can not take your cards out (more difficult)

You can just take cash then all you can lose is that cash.

There is two step verification that your partner or parents can authorise your payments. (i’ve heard this is great)

Number 4:

With this new life away from gambling you will no doubt try to life a new healthy lifestyle (one step at a time) i found that drinking was clouding my judgement and making me gamble, smoking was inhibiting my breathing, drugs id also done in the past caused my mental well being to go down and these all led my weight, stress levels and ability to do well at work to diminish.  It took a breakdown in 2018 for me to realise all these habits needed to stop so i stopped one at a time to give me a better chance, smoking 2016, drinking 2018, gambling 2019….. 

MAKE 2023 UR YEAR FOR A FRESH LIFESTYLE< KEEP ME POSTED ADAM…….