Can't stand much more of my partners gambling

hi, you post on here, and you deserve a reply. Gambling is a progressive destructive illness. I am a CG. I have finally stopped, took six years of my own money to destroy my financial future. I have no dependents, so my re-action to your situation is different to my situation. In a relationship where there are kids, they come first, food, water, clothing and their warmth. So your partner if he is too remain your partner needs to sharpen up quick. I fear for his addication, it's so hard to stop, because winning can happen, but losing will defo follow without a doubt. Read a lot on here especially CW post's, she seen the issue from the partners side and more often from not is spot on, on her advice. Good luck

Morning,

Sorry to hear what's been happening.

The advice is to protect yourself and your babies as an urgent priority. Misplaced loyalty to him will see you all out on the streets. Landlords, even social landlords, don't like unpaid rent and if the rent money has been gambled away, it's not available to pay the rent. If this continues then sooner or later the landlord will be granted a repossession order by the Court and the bailiffs will turn up to evict you. And the Council will say that you're intentionally homeless. So regardless of the love or commitment that you feel to him, don't go there.

Unchecked, a gambling addiction gets worse and the gambling gets more and more reckless. He's gambling because he has an addiction; the corrupted addict thinking tells him that the big win to solve all problems is a bet away. Actually the financial problems are caused by the gambling, but he can't or won't see that. He can never win because he can't stop.

The difficulty is that you can't stop him, especially if it's all going on behind your back. It doesn't matter how much you beg, plead or cry, at the end of the day, you control what you do and he controls what he does. Active gamblers lie, manipulate, blame everything and everyone around them, often resort to stealing, anything to keep the gambling going. None of this is your fault but you have to make some hard decisions about what you're prepared to put up with in your relationship with your life partner.

If he's finally learnt the link between gambling and losing the roof over his head, his job and his family ie. he wants to stop more than he wants to place a bet, there's a lot he can do to limit his access to gambling and to get support to overcome the addiction. But that's him, not you.

You can't rely on him, so rely on you. Make sure that as much of your money as possible is in your own name, if you're financially dependent on him, go to the local law centre or CAB and approach the Housing Office at the council at this stage. Don't take on any debt that you're not prepared to pay off in full yourself. Keep your cash, cards and passwords safe - if he has used money that wasn't his at work, you're fair game.

Most importantly, get the help and support for you to cope with the situation that you're in. Call the helpline, read the forum so you know what you're dealing with, try a GamAnon meeting, tell people close to you (and tell anyone from whom he may be borrowing).

It's all too easy for this to become all about him. Keep your focus on you.

Take care,

CW