I'm not really sure how this works but I have been reading some of the forums and thought that I would ask for some advice.
I have been with my fiancé for nearly 5 years and I am in my mid-twenties. From very early on I knew there was a problem with his gambling but I had confidence that we would get through it. At the beginning he would steal my wages and leave me with nothing on payday, steal jewellery, phones pretty much anything that would get him money. Pretty quickly the debt mounted up as did the loans when I tried to help him pay his debt an eventually I have ended up in a trust deed myself as the stress was getting too much.
5 years later and little with his gambling except he had no access to my accounts and we both have recently got good jobs which is a huge plus for him. However his past debts and with owing lots of people money is his reason for drawing him back to gambling all the time. He tried GA once and I thought that was a great step but he said he didn't like it and didn't want to go back. I still constantly have t give him money just to live and feel more like his mum than his partner.
I feel like nothing is ever going to change. I'm sorry I know this is a long post I just would really appreciate some perspective and advice.
Hi, your post its all about second chances...
I do feel an immense sorrow for all i caused to my family and friends,but after a lot more then five years ,i am in the right path,i got six weeks free gambling free smoking free drinking,thats how things are at this moment,no pads,no pills,just love ,attention,an loads of controll...i had to tell everyone i like so they could help me fight it,i got severall routines that i do daily,self excluded from all the shops that could cross my way,i dont carry any bank cards,no id ,and only enough money for coffee,and thats it...this is possible if you and him really want this so much as i did!!cause it needs your help!sorry,thats in what i can help.there is no chance of winning in this sickness ,believe me,i know all about it!!!all the winnings are just pale memories and a little minus in the huge overdrawn where is normally your bank status!!i had two companies ,60 employees,a nice house,well,now i am just an unemployed guy ,with a dream,becoming an ex gambling addict.wish you guys the best !
Hello elle1910,
Welcome to the Forum. You can use this space to talk about what you are going through, receive commends from other people in a similar situation to yours or from people who have improved their situation. You may also commend on other posts and share your thoughts and ideas.
I would like to say that there is hope, as there is help for your partner and yourself. GA meetings may be uncomfortable, as you have to talk to a group of people and that initially can be very difficult for some. However, it gets better with time as you get to know the members of the group and feel supported. There is also GamAnon which organise meeting for Family and Friends of people who gamble. Have a look on their website for more information:
There is no reason why you have to continue supporting your partner’s gambling addiction. The situation is clearly making you unhappy and it can only get worse, unless something changes. I would recommend you read through the literature on our website to get a better understanding of gambling. We also offer one to one support through counselling, so I would like to encourage you to make use of it. It can give you the chance to reflect on the situation and develop the necessary skills to deal with it more effectively. You can also have a conversation with your partner about accessing one to one support, as overcoming gambling addiction is not an easy task for anyone.
You are both welcome to contact the GamCare advisers on our freephone 0808 8020 133. We're open from 8am until midnight, 7 days a week or use the live chat by visiting this page
http://secure.gamcare.org.uk/netline
Best wishes,
Ana
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