I am really struggling with how to tell my 4 year old why her daddy has to leave... so far there's the excuse he's working late or left early... but pretending is wearing thin now. And even though they'll see each other he's on a waiting list for rehab and they may have very long periods of no contact... unlike conventional break ups or abandonment... I really can't get my head around this myself, let alone how to explain to a 4 year old that her dad gambled all the money including rent, and unless he isn't here we won't have a roof over our heads. How do you explain he's so depressed he is suicidal? How do you explain any of this? She is going to be heartbroken, far more than any one. She is so close to her daddy.
Any one been through this with their little ones?
Haven't been through this with children, but I can give my opinion as a nanny.
I'd maybe consider having a chat with your child and present it as Daddy has a poorly brain/mind. Sometimes it doesn't work very well and makes him have bad thoughts or feelings. He needs to go away and have lots of sleepovers with the special doctors who can make daddy feel better. He loves you more than anything, and we will miss him, but he will be better and feel happy and fun again soon.
Try to seem as upbeat and of sure of yourself as you can, try not to look sad. If you're child sees you being positive and optimistic, they'll pick up on this and it will help give them a sense that everything's going to be okay.
I wouldn't hide any mental health issues, but try to explain in a way a child might understand. If it was a physical issue, we wouldn't think twice about trying to explain it, would we?
I wish you all the best.
Lots of luck and hugs xxx
Pinky.
Pinky333 wrote:
Haven't been through this with children, but I can give my opinion as a nanny.
I'd maybe consider having a chat with your child and present it as Daddy has a poorly brain/mind. Sometimes it doesn't work very well and makes him have bad thoughts or feelings. He needs to go away and have lots of sleepovers with the special doctors who can make daddy feel better. He loves you more than anything, and we will miss him, but he will be better and feel happy and fun again soon.
Try to seem as upbeat and of sure of yourself as you can, try not to look sad. If you're child sees you being positive and optimistic, they'll pick up on this and it will help give them a sense that everything's going to be okay.
I wouldn't hide any mental health issues, but try to explain in a way a child might understand. If it was a physical issue, we wouldn't think twice about trying to explain it, would we?
I wish you all the best.
Lots of luck and hugs xxx
Pinky.
Thank you Pinky, your way of explaining it makes a lot of sense. We met earlier and used something along the lines of your advice. She's very smart and understood what we were trying to say. Now it's for the reality of the separation for her, and also for when he does go away to rehab and she doesn't get to see him.
Thanks again for taking the time to respond x
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