Feel like I am inbetween a rock and a hard place

Hi,

Perhaps you and Dad should consider looking at the enablers and what solutions in the short term are possible.

Online gambling was never my thing but is the gambling taking place by smart phone or laptop. Whichever way i would imagine it is through a home Broadband connection. BT allows the account holder to restrict access to gambling sites. Or can you phone the broadband provider and restrict the access.

Is payment from a joint account?. Can you ring the bank and.block any gambling transactions on the card?

There are several blockers that can be downloaded to restrict the laptop having access to gambling sites. K9 may be one.

These are only short term solutions and again consideration should be given regarding the depression but its something that has to be dealt with.

Best wishes

Hi,

Thanks yeah it is done by laptop either using mine or my dads. She was using my credit card as she is an additional card holder but when she knew I had found out she stopped using it. She is most likely using the joint bank account now or other credit card that parents have together. We are aware the short term resolution will probably involve blocking access to card and sites as it could be financially damaging. Thank you for the software recommendation that will be very helpful.

The depression has been a very long term thing and has always been difficult to deal. We just do not want to push her too much. We have dealt with addiction before and we have learned you can't push it unless they want help.

Hi,

Echo the advice to put the parental blockers on and to install blocking software on the devices that she has access to. Also echo the advice to block her access to your financial resources and your father's. Sever all financial connection, get her off your credit card, otherwise get you off it, avoid joint accounts that you or your father might be liable for, and put what you can in your name or your father's name. Also upgrade your security. Change your passwords and make sure that it is entered manually each time, don't share passwords, don't write them down. Keep cards safe.

You're right, none of this will stop her gambling if she's hell bent on doing it. But it might protect you from financial damage.

Depression may need one medical solution, addiction needs another. If she has both, both should be addressed but there's no blue pill to stop the gambling.

And depression or no depression, put yourself first, don't be manipulated into letting her feed her addiction at your expense. Depression doesn't remove her responsibility for what she does. Using your credit card when you don't know about it is stealing from you. It's not ok.

Focus on you, call the helpline, try meetings, do what you need to do to look after you.

CW