Finally decide to join here. my story is same as the rest here, have a partner with gambling problem.we have been together for 7 years, and have a 4years old daughter.During these years, we started with arguments and fightings because he was disapperared during the night and didnt come home after work, then moved on to he addmited that he's gambler, but only gamble really small amount of money. i wasnt really concerned about it by then, because i was not really believed he was in casino, i was more believed he was cheating on me. when i was pregenant, i thought life might became different, but i was wrong. he never stop gambling, from hundreds to thousands, then 10,20 thousands,now he has no job and has big debt. all these years i am supporting my family, and he gamble all his money away. last week he brought his problem to next level, he frauded 5 thousand from my credit card, and left me a letter said he was so wrong, so sorry and need to leave 2 fix his problem and will pay me back,and just gone. i am not that upset and angery, that make me realised how strong i become.
i have no family in this country, and i never tell my friend about my problem. because no one can really understand, i keep everything to myself. i may sound really stupid, why wasted so many time with someone like him, should leave long time ago. But it's not that easy just left my daugher's dad, and give up all the hope to have a family (hope there is someone can agree with me here), a wedding become a luxtury wish.
the reason i never sign up here is that i really doubt that if there is any really help, to stop his problem, to built confidence back to our relationship. i have no trust on him, not even trust he's only a problem gambler, but still think he may cheat on me, and all this is just cover up(that's how sad i am now). sometime i even think, maybe it partly my fault, there must more thing i could do to stop him to reach this stage?
thank you for the people who spend time to read though this, now i let it out my chest and i do feel the realise. thank you.
Hi sz25,
You have faced much hurt and uncertainty and I also understand your sadness that your family members are not near at hand.
Nor is it easy to talk about these issues with friends, but please be reassured that you can call us at GamCare (we provide a free-phone service on 0808 8020 133) to chat about your situation. Sometimes, just being able to talk lends comfort.
I realise that there is an element of doubt about whether - and to what degree - your partner's problem gambling is at the core of what's happened. But if at some future date he feels motivated to seek help, we are here for him.
It might.be that a visit to your local Citizens' Advice Bureau to chat through your situation in general will enable you to access the best help..
Kind regards,
Forum admin
(Robert)
Hi sz25, I am so very sorry to hear your story 🙁 Rest assured that none of this is your fault! Equally, there is nothing you can do to stop him gambling until he is ready to help himself! You are very strong to not be angry @ him stealing from you & you must love him very much to be more worried that he is cheating! But this is serious & he is a coward for running away! I am not in your shoes but if I were, I would be very very angry indeed & doing everything I possibly could to protect myself & my child! Please take Gamcare up on their advice & get the help you so badly need.
I wish you all the best. Stay strong - ODAAT
Hello SZ25
It is not your fault........don't ever think that....as it is wrong.
You also must truly love this person to not be really angry at having this happen.
Luckily anger doesn't help so this is a good thing....yet you still must have self worth as this does not deserve to happen to you a person strong in their feelings and a strong character.
I also would say....do not take it personally thinking a element has failed in your relationship for this to happen........it is rarely as simple as this......gambling is a massivley powerful force that leads to even the most important elements of a life being sacrificed as if they mean nothing.
They can mean the world to us and yet gambling still wins.........it is a evil force that take s every support mechanism being applied at once to stand a chance of beating it off ........it's achievable yet a life long battle......no fast cures......
speed is what causes the problem to begin with.... the quick fixes never beat a long term plan of recovery....
One needs devising and adhering too permanently.........with fun and non gambling rewards along the way.....
Wishing you good luck and support along the way where required
Best Wishes Wayne
(28 days gamble free)
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