New beginnings

I’m going to give the diary updates a go as part of my new beginning. So here goes - I’m still a newbie on here, I’ve been addicted to gambling for a while now, I’m almost 5 days now without gambling. My addiction is all online casinos, I’ve never really had an urge to go to the bookies or compulsively hit casinos on a regular basis. I guess online was easier to access and I could bury my head in the sand on how much I was spending as I didn’t need to use physical cash I could transfer it all from my phone. I came clean to my husband on Tuesday night, I hadn’t planned to but he knew something was wrong and it all came spilling out. I’d come into a substantial chunk of money and we’d made so many plans for it the main one was to get repairs done to our house that is needed. Sadly my addiction took hold and I lost it all. My husband is furious and has been honest in saying he doesn’t know if we can come back from this (we’ve been married almost 15 years and together for 20) he has said though no matter how angry he is he wants to help me through this. The feeling of knowing how much I’ve hurt him and most likely destroyed what was (before this happened) a fantastic relationship will live with me forever. I am determined to prove to him that I will beat this and somehow will pay off the debts I have run up and the money I’ve lost I know it will take years and to be honest I don’t know how I’m going to do it but I’m going to try my best to succeed. I’m going to document my progress as and when I can as I’m hopeful it will help my recovery and maybe one day reading this could help someone else in a similar situation. To anyone in the same situation reading this good luck with your recovery. I wish you all the best! Stay 💪 ❤️