Here we go again!

Oh dear this is so sad to here i hate gambling with a vengence the last time i gambled was a 18 days ago however i ended up in casino just an hour ago good news is i never gambled however i feel like ive relapsed i had temptation to gamble but i held onto the urge, i lost £750 the last time i gambled and i swore it was the end of the road for me, but the mind plays trick as i cant get over my recent relapse i was clean for over 2 years before i had family trauma which led me back into gambling my family isnt as understanding and your partner fortunate to have someone their its a nasty addiction 

@tazman well done staying gamble free for two years, sorry it didn’t stay that way. It is horrible especially for the family and friends being lied to over and over again. I think this is the final straw for me and I’ve realised it’s never going to stop and I don’t want to live my life like this anymore. It always seems to be around Christmas he’s caught out too which makes it even worse, what should be a happy time to what I’m dealing with now. Like I said I just feel numb and I know this won’t ever stop and I think I have to do what’s best for me now. I’ve supported him throughout it all and now I see it was all for nothing. 

I totally agree with you it not fair on you why do u have to suffer the concequences my family assumes i have been gamble free since 2010 and i have manage to improve my situation since going to Ga, the gambling can always return as its always playing in your head it tough if he not willing to change after what he put you through u need to move on its not fair on you

It’s not fair on me. He’s told me he isn’t gambling he can’t coz of gamban and gamstop I said you have an addiction the addiction will never go it’s just how you control it, he’s told me he had an addiction but doesn’t anymore. An addiction is for life no matter what addiction it is you will still crave it time to time. 

this is always going to be in my mind if I stay. We’re meant to be getting married and I don’t think I can marry into this. The house is in my name and I don’t think I could ever put it in his name in case he got himself into debt again and then the house got took off me and the kids. 
With gam ban can you bet on App Store games? He’s telling me you can’t but I’m sure I’ve read before that you can? 

thanks for letting me rant ?

He sounds like me in the early stages i was in denial i have just paid my family 6 months rent in advance and i also bought new phone and stuff with the money i had saved in the 2 years i stopped gambling, im glad i did this as i know i would have blown it all atleast i have something to show for 

@magh i totally understand u it a tough decision to make it sad to see some people are still with their partners even though they have ruined their lives which is very sad to see i was the same for a few years and my very fortunate my family have stayed by me, the last 10 years i have improved and i have had at times where i have sold my stuff to get by even had ti borrow from close friends just to get by i have accepted it a life long illness and best way forward is sticking to Ga their are members whi havent had a bet for decades who still attend Ga so it can work but majority of people fall back into the sane trap after few years, you need to do whats best for you and your family, its very sad to see kids suffering due to partner gambling which is why i made my decision to stay single

If he plays with no money and for fun he wont mind showing you the bank statements

I am a gambler and my advice to u is do not marry this man and risk your house. If he is being deffensive over showing a bank statement he has something to hide. 

Me when i have nothing to hide proudly show my statement. Me as a gambler with somethingnto hide woulld take off if someone asked.

Personally i would give him the ultimatum come clean and show the statements or tell him u wont commit to anything.

Tell him the support is there but you wont put up with this behaviour. An addiction is for life any of us can confirm that. We spend everyday beating it or succumbing to it. Until he acknowledges that he needs help and can never bet again hes not ready to stop.

This time im determined and doing well but for the past 2 decades i couldnt accept that to beat this i could never bet again and this lead to relapse after relapse.

It turns people into someone they arent nasty, lying, devious. I used to be irratable when i lost or things were going bad and people around would have thought whats her problem i was awful.  Generally the person has to hit rock bottom to see how things really are. I was deluded thinking i was some great horse racing guru. Your partner maybe deluded thinking he can carry on with this and hide it but the signs show and when u know its easier to see someones being shifty or somethings up

@spottydog spot on?

@tazman can totally relate to selling things I remember him doing it, also remember him telling me he’s getting rid of his car as we dodnt need two, to find out he hadn’t been paying for it so they took it back. It’s good you have something to show for it and you’re not by yourself. How long have you gambled? So can you put money on the App Store games or do you not know? 

@spottydog yea I have the same feeling I have had every other time when I was right. And the way he spoke to me when I confronted him was exactly how it was every other time he was caught. He won’t show me his statements he’s gone away to work now too for three weeks. I’ve told him I don’t believe him and he swears he’s not bet for two years since I last caught him and he subscribed to gam ban and gam stop for 5 years.. does this automatically renew? Told me how he’s a better person when he’s not gambling and he doesn’t want to go back to that, but something doesn’t feel right and I can’t prove it. If he is betting I know it’s not stupid amounts like he was because we have just had to pay a hell of a lot of money out and he wouldn’t have been able to afford that if he was gambling big money. But even if it’s little money I won’t stick by him waiting for the big loss to come. I love him we have kids together. I should walk away but honestly don’t know if I can. I would just lose him, he would lose everything and it would be his fault. 

@magh am not sure about the app store i never got into online gambling i was more of a bookies going casino, online seems to be worst thing that could happen atlease in casino and bookies you get physical cash i have been gambling since 2006 gambling as gone alot worse since then  

Posted by: @magh

Other half got caught out gambling a lot of money away 5 years ago then again then again and then he installed gamban. Sending me monthly statements everything was fine. They stopped getting sent. 

phone kept by him constantly but I didn’t ask to check anything I had to learn  to trust. Well tonight I needed to use his phone for the torch, pulled down from top of screen and it showed his used apps. One was a bingo app win real money. Swore to me he plays it for fun he never puts money in just gets money out with free spins or something. I asked him to show me his banking and it’s like we’re back to 5 years ago how he’s not a child I’m a f*****g controlling b***h. I was calm throughout it all, he spoke to me disgustingly just like he has done the other times he’s been caught. I don’t feel anything, I’m not mad I’m not upset nothing. It’s nearly every year except the last and I think I’m just used to it. I don’t want to be used to it, I don’t want to walk away we’ve just had our second child together but I think this isn’t even going to stop and I’m just numb. 

I needed to rant and this is the only place I can do it so thanks for getting this far x

He was angry and ranted at you, as he was caught. If you'd looked at the bank statements you'd see the gambling transactions I'm afraid....I used to do similar to deflect away from getting caught.

@mccawpa I probably am right I haven’t seen him since it all,  he works away back tomorrow. He knows I don’t believe him and he probably thinks I’ve forgot it all now. I haven’t. Don’t want to walk away but don’t want a life of what ifs either. Definitely not easy for the partners of gamblers