My husband has gambled for decades.He gambles on slot machines late into the night . Heavily in debt .Refuses to go to counselling.Critised me for seeking advice.He found phone number on phone bill . Got young kids .They adore their dad. I don't talk to anyone about it , ashamed ,scared . Only time I have is on here and I got counselling arranged but couldn't keep it up cause couldn't afford petrol. I wake up in panic wondering if he has been gambling or how much he has lost. I don't work so have no income of my own. I want to ask him again about blocking software but I think I know the answer. I have given him numbers for stepchange and Cab , he won't call them. I can see no end in sight. For years I have put up with it but now I really want him to stop. I want us to be normal family and debt free .
Hi,
It might be time to take ownership of your own life, so that your happiness and peace of mind aren't dependant on his antics? You have no control over whether or not he places a bet but you can make choices for yourself.
For that you need help and support. Read the forum, call the Helpline, go to GamAnon meetings. These are actions that you can take to help you deal with the effect that his gambling is having on you.
Move the focus over to you and what you want and need from a life partner.
CW
Thank you Cynical wife . I have used netline a few times. I don't phone as number shows up on phone bill . I can't get to gamanon meetings as too far and childcare difficulties. But even just your response at least makes me feel less alone. I would feel like betraying him speaking to his family but I have come close lately and maybe will crack one day soon. I have no close family of my own ,all dead . My kids keep me going. I wake up during night lately , can't get back to sleep worrying about his gambling . I think of what I am going to say but chicken out . I think I may have to start taking some money out when he gets paid so I know I have enough for kids lunches and stuff. I tried not spending much and making do to save money but he gambles it anyway. I just have to keep going somehow . He has managed to stop for spells , nearly 7 months last year but back on it heavy trying to get big win to pay off his debt .
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