I have a parent who is clearly a problem gambler.. I do not know what to do..
When they lose I get blamed, I get told why didn't you stop me, its your fault. If I had won I would have given you (x amount) - they never do. I do say, stop now, leave with something.. We all know that won't make a difference yet. I am still getting blamed.
After a big loss the mood can last weeks...
What can I do, they won't listen to me.. I do not have any £ myself and cannot bear it.
Hi, Burnedagain,
I'm so sorry to hear what's happening but you're not alone and you have come to the right place for help. GamCare also offer a helpline with long opening hours, do ring it.
In the meantime, the following might help you. Firstly, a gambler can't win because they can't stop. They just can't, the compulsion to gamble is, well, compulsive. So your parent is never going to stop while they're ahead, it just doesn't happen. There's nothing you can do to change that.
Also, an active gambler will blame you because that's what active gamblers do, all Friends & Family experience this. But it isn't you, you're NOT to blame. You can't possibly make your parents or anyone else do or not do anything. You control what you do, they control what they do. So the three Cs: You didn't Cause the gambling, you can't Control the Gambling and you can't Cure the gambling.
You probably want to get help to stop your parent from gambling. The problem is, as you are finding, you hit a brick wall. So you start by doing what you are doing: getting help for you. Because what's happening to you is huge.
Would you tell someone what's going on? A trusted friend or family member or Student Welfare if you're a student? Also, do ring the Helpline here, as many times as you need to. Maybe go to group support meetings or GamAnon?
Tell us how you're getting on, take care,
CW
Hi BurnedAgain
So sorry you are going through this. CW and deano are right. This isn't your fault.
There are support groups for family members of compulsive gamblers. You can find out more at http://gamanon.org.uk/.
We can also offer you free counselling if you live in England, Wales or Scotland. As CW and deano have suggested, do give us a call on 0808 8020 133. We're here till midnight.
Take care
Forum Admin.
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
