Hello,
My dad has been a compulsive gambler for 5 years. So much so, that he has gambled his house away, lost a long term partner over it and is slowly destroying every family relationship he has.
I manage his money now so he cannot spend it in an out if controll manner and leave himself unable to pay rent, bills and even buy food.
He has spoken to someone in the past, thought it helped.. It didn't. He has been to the doctors, gave him some medicine as they thought but was depressed and he stopped taking it. Anything I say to talk to him about things or try to seek to support him, he blanks me.
His issues are affecting me on a daily basis. I am constantly anxious, it makes me tearful and I am getting constant headaches.
Please, any help and support you can give me or point me in the direction of finding him help I'll be so grateful.
Thank you
Hey mburt, welcome to the forum 🙂
Sorry to hear your Dad is putting you through the wringer, the best advice I can offer is to find a GamAnon meeting near you. This is a support group for loved ones of gambling addiction & people there will be able to offer you real life support. GamCare provide a helpline & a netline that you can use as often as you need but I believe both close at midnight. My mum has a gambling addiction (has done for most of my adult life) & I manage some of her her money so the bills in my flat get paid, this is a condition of her living there. Over the years prior to this I have had her cards (mostly in order to repay debts) only to find she has ordered new ones or been to the bank & emptied the account before any standing orders come out...It's the devils own job managing the finances of someone who won't get help. I too am a compulsive gambler so some of the madness I recognise: the desperate need for help but the sheer unwillingness to get it. For what it's worth, he probably loves you to pieces & it's killing him to know how much he is hurting you but an addict in action can think of nothing but there next bet & you having control of his finances is you standing in the way of that. Recovery requires more than speaking to people & pills from the GP, it needs sustained effort from the gambler & a willingness to put that effort in, sadly you can't do this for him. I understand the need to protect him as much as possible & no matter what anyone says to me, I cannot fathom cutting my mum off but the only way we can help anyone is to care for ourselves because they don't know how. If nothing else, come here & write your thoughts down, it may help with the stress.
Stay strong - ODAAT
Just lifted this from another thread, hopefully the link works;
http://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-support/partners-friends-and-family
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
