Supporting Someone's Addiction Made Things Worse?

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(@69nm8ep1dr)
Posts: 10
Topic starter
 

Has anyone else experienced a situation where, after someone confided in you about their addiction, it seemed to make things worse?

I initially thought that by opening up to me, they were ready to work together to overcome their addiction, but that wasn’t the case. As I was now aware, their lies only intensified to cover up the gambling. Suddenly, majority of their issues became my fault, and no matter how much support I offered, it was never enough. They refused to apologize for their lies or anger towards me, claiming it had ruined their life, and reminding me that it was my choice to stay. They grew more upset and angry with me. I always assumed that when someone opens up about their addiction, it means they’re ready for help, but in this case, it feels like it only made things worse because I knew and chose to stay, it seemed to give them no reason to overcome their addiction.

I know it isn’t everyone’s experience but I wanted to understand if anyone has been through similar.

 
Posted : 31st August 2024 12:12 am
Merry go round
(@merry-go-round)
Posts: 1506
 

Hi right123 

opening up is sometimes a test. ‘You knew, you stayed, I can carry on because its ok’

sometimes they then become open about small bets but secretive about huge losses and debt.

its a mine field and if you know nothing about addiction you will believe them and what they say.

This person is in denial and not taking responsibility for their actions. You have become involved in the chaos. It’s not your fault.

a gambler who is ready to stop will hand over all finances and acknowledge that they can’t handle money in any form. No ca cards, no online access. They will seek help from outside sources.

You can call gamcare and get help, you can find a meeting. There are many resources now. Don’t try and cope alone. If you seek help it might show them that you are not going to take their lies and behaviour anymore.

good luck and get some support 

 

 
Posted : 31st August 2024 8:34 am

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