Were do I start?

difficult one cos im oppisite and one with the problem and i cant discuss it with my wife cause she. got funny but live with fear she will leave if i duscuss

Trust your instincts. If you think his gambling is a problem it is. Make sure he can't access your bank accounts,cash or valuables then read up all you can on the addiction and where it can and regularly does go. There are some pretty harrowing stories right on this forum. Life with an active CG is a nightmare and it's a progressive addiction. You can't help him until he wants to be helped. Think very carefully about what you want and deserve and put yourself first. At the moment you are a very poor second to his gambling and if he won't stop things will remain that way.

Hi & welcome - as already mentioned there's nothing you can do to stop the gambling but you can protect yourself. The positive is that you are aware there is a problem (I didn't find out until my partner was 50 k in debt and on the brink of bankruptcy - all of which is still very much a now issue). Do all you can to separate yourself financially and secure your own finances - this stability will hopefully serve you well In the future! Emotionally - it's a tough road to follow. Trust is hard to build once it's been broken & watching someone you love break in front of your eyes whilst being powerless to stop them is soul destroying particularly if you are a natural 'fixer'! Don't make any commitments you are not prepared to follow through & Please look out for you - whether you choose to stay or go is completely your choice but neither path is easy.

Take care

Hi Gemma_S,

Well done for sharing your story here. This must be a difficult and stressful time for you but, you’ve taken a step in the right direction by seeking advice from our forum. Help is right here at Gamcare.

It seems like your boyfriend is trying to make the gambling problem topic a “no go area” since he turns it on you anytime you try to bring up the topic.

If you can assure him that Gamcare is ready to help and support him to overcome his gambling problem, that we can even refer him to 12 sessions of free counselling if that would help him to stop gambling, and that you also want to support him to get through this, he might hopefully give a second thought about it.

Also let him know how much his gambling problem is affecting you, and that you’d like to see changes from him for the better.

Maybe, you’d like to contact us via our free phone Helpline on: 0808 8020 133, and speak to one of our adviser regarding this situation.

Meanwhile, try and look after yourself and your finances, and keep a separate account from his – no joint savings.

I’ll also encourage you to try and stay in touch with us just in case you need further help and support.

I wish you the best in your effort to make your boyfriend go for professional help to sort out his gambling problem; that is Gamcare.

Kind regards,

Beatrice.

Hi Gemma, you must sit him down and just talk to him. You can not keep it to yourself any longer as the more you think about it the more it builds up and up until something horrible happens which i know you do not want to happen. You have to show him how much it is affecting you. I do this with my boyfriend and i am very open to him if there is something i need to get off my chest. I am here if you want to talk.