When is enough really enough?

@fu1oyks6pz the big Q is she aware she has a problem, gambling gives you a false sense of entitlement i have been gambling on and off gambling since 2006 i only realised i had a problem 2011 since then i have over 1000 days G/f with my last relapse 63 days ago, problem with i got too content i got to a stage where i could stop for long period of time and then relapse, i made a decision i need to change myself as a person and find other things i realised my life needed changing im only 63 days free but i feel much better i have also accepted its a life long illness si when evee i have any urgues i come back to this website to remember my past and so far it working

@fu1oyks6pz how are you doing?

@tazman do you know why you relapsed? I feel I am getting nothing from her, I have no idea how to help.

@cpparch She said it was "just a bit of fun". It was our engagement fund she gambled away. I know this is an illness that I will never fully understand, but my heart is breaking. She didn't even check in on me, I had to instigate everything. Absolutely lost right now, no idea how to help her.

@fu1oyks6pz yep that’s exactly what it was like for me, a bit of fun. I remember spending 50p and winning and thought how amazing it was! So you chase, because you think you can keep on winning. 

I’m afraid you cannot help her if she isn’t ready to help herself. There is nothing you can do….

@cpparch I worked in casinos and betting shops, but I have just never understood the draw of gambling. Even the few times I have placed a bet and won, it had never had the draw for me to pull me back in. That is why I have spent so long researching etc to try to understand as best as I can. Think she thought it would be like all the other times where we just move on, but I am coming to the realisation that I may be an enabler by allowing myself to be so easily led and walked over. She says she knows it is an illness and a problem, but that is where the accountability ends.

@fu1oyks6pz that’s brilliant it never affected you. I honestly never thought in a million years that I would be in this position now.

Has there been any changes last few days?? 

@cpparch She seems to be completely unaffected by the whole thing. Feeling very stupid and low. Not spoken a word to each other in days and I have no idea what I am hanging on for. I don't know if it is a defense thing or not but it really hurts. No idea if she wants to stop or if she wants help and don't know how to ask. Like torture. 

How are you getting on?

@fu1oyks6pz perhaps you’ve got to make the decision on what you want? Think of yourself now? I guess she just isn’t ready to know what she wants to do or realise how serious it is? Has she lost and spent a lot of money? Debt? Is it affecting your life now? 

I’m ok thanks, day 52 gamble free today.