Hi,
First of all let me admit that I am a problem gambler. This started two years ago with online deposit of £10 and betting on tennis points for 50p to £1. I was doing fine and I might have lost total £30 in one month. However, slowly my attention turned towards online casinos. The deposits gradually increased to £50 and then I incurred a loss of about £500 in 2 months.
I thought, lets cover it all, I deposited £250 one day and made £1000, which was the biggest turnover in my life. After that a deposit of less than £250 looked stupidity to me and eventually this increased. Today I am in a debt of £40,000 and this is all because of the stupidity I never thought I can do. My most of the money is gone playing BJs, Roullete and recently Baccarat. For last few days, I was reading this forum and made up my mind to finally forget the lost money and start a new life. Self excluded myself for 5 years from all sites but there was one bookie who said they can only close my account(which can be reopened on request) and I will have to post a form to them for self exclusion. I recently borrowed money from my friend to pay back my monthly installments one of which was due yesterday and other one to go out next week.I did not bother sending the form and today thought lets go back to where I started. I asked them to reopen my suspended account and played with £10 which lasted couple of minutes. Then I don't know how and why something happened and I kept on depositing £50 multiple times until I lost the money to be paid next week for my debts.
Not sure what to do? Please do not suggest me to attend gamcare meeting as I am scared of it and seriously cannot go there. I fully understand the consequences of gambling and already suffering from it.
Do you think, if I make up my mind today to stay away from it, will I again do this no matter how strong I stand? Is attending those meeting mandatory to cure this disease and it is unavoidable?
I feel ashamed of myself when I see my friends buying there first house.
Hi
It is a big step to admit that you have a gambling problem; it is also a good step, but only a small one, towards doing something about it. You cannot change the past, so do not beat yourself up with regret, instead concentrate your energy on what you can control, ie your behaviour now and in the future.
Here is a list of websites which you may find helpful or interesting.
K9 Web Protection www1.k9webprotection.com
Free downloadable software for your computer to block access to gambling websites.
Gamblers Anonymous www.gamblersanonymous.org.uk
Three informative GA publications for newcomers are; ‘Questions and Answers’; ‘The Wheel of
Misfortune’ and ‘Towards the first 90 Days’. You can access these through the website.
Gamcare www.gamcare.org.uk
A nationwide service, offering free advice and counselling to problem gamblers.
Smart Recovery www.smartrecovery.org.uk
Self-management and recovery training – a science based approach to overcoming addiction.
NHS Choices www.nhs.uk/Livewell/addiction/Pages/gamblingaddiction.aspx
The Samaritans www.samaritans.org
This web address lists a number of other sites that support problem gamblers.
compulsivegamblers.gotop100.com
Help with debt management. (Free from a registered charity)
www.stepchange.org/Howwecanhelpyou/DMPDebtmanagementplan.aspx
Unfortunately there is no solution that works for everyone; it would be great if it was that simple; however as intelligent people we often have a good idea what will work for us and what will not. That is why it is important to seek information and try to work out the way forward. The good thing is that you will have plenty of time on your hands to do research now that you are not gambling; and it is very important to fill your time, body and mind with healthier pastimes.
Well done for taking the first step towards a better life and a better you.
Ken
Thanks for your reply Ken and valuable information.
I really feel better after posting in this forum.
I will keep you posted how I progress.
Hi,
To overcome this, you need action, not just words or intention. What will make a difference is the changes that you actually make, the help that you actually get and the barriers that you actually put up. Whether you have a Visa card or a cash card. Whether you have a smartphone or a brick. Whether your computers are blocked. Whether you keep control of your finances. Whether you go to GA and or for counselling.
Wish you well.
CW
I look forward to hearing of your positive progress. I have been gambling free for nearly two and a half years and have regular contact with other people trying to overcome their problems. You will soon start to notice the benefits of not gambling and starting new hobbies and finding new interests will only reinforce those advantages.
I have to admit that I totally underestimated how difficult it would be, because, with hindsight, I was a real gambling J****E. My advice to people now is that if they do relapse, they must learn from the experience and come back stronger. I was often lured back with offers of 'free money', because I thought they were too good to turn down. The psychology of gambling dictated that for me a win was merely an invitation to come back another day.
Take care
Ken
Hi welcome to the forum,
​I understand you may find the prospect of discussing your problem in an open ga meeting scary but have you considered asking gamcare to refer you for one to one counselling? I found it very helpful to discuss the reasons I started gambling and support strategies to help me stop. I'm gambling free 57 days so far and feel loads better despite still being in debt. Good luck
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