And so it begins AGAIN

Hello
Where do I begin. I've been gambling for about 11 years now although it only seems like yesterday that I started. I think it all started after the breakdown of my marriage I was on my own with two little boy's. One with severe autism and a one year old bubba. I suppose I was bored and lonely and it filled the void my husband had left. At first it was just online bingo and the odd tenner here and there but then I discovered the online slots on the side of the bingo game and would have a few quid on them whilst the bingo game was playing. I still remember that first big win I was only playing ВЈ2 a spin but landed the free spins and kept landing them. I walked away with over ВЈ2000 and that was it I was hooked. The bingo was slowly over taken by the slots and the ВЈ2 bets increased to ВЈ5 bets as the norm and if I had a big win the bets would increase anything up to ВЈ120 a spin. I have won and lost so much money it's unreal. I've always been quite lucky with winning my problem is I don't know when to stop. I have often won ВЈ15000 at a time and just put it all back in. Most recently I won ВЈ55000 a few months ago I played through ВЈ25000 and drew out ВЈ30000 but over time I probably put in about another £22000 of the money I withdrew. It's utter craziness it really is. I have 3 children and I could have set them up for the future with that money but instead I just p*s**d it all away for my selfish need of a imaginary buzz that soon turns to self loathing. I have been so low at times that I have thought about ending it all but the kids need me I'm all they have their father does not bother with them. Shortly after the big win I mentioned above I met my current partner. His amazing his so supportive and has taken all 3 of my boy's as his own. I have been completely honest with him about my addiction and he has been so supportive and it's his encouragement that has lead me back to gamcare. He himself has an addiction to codeine so I think he kind of gets how hard it is for me and doesn't judge me. We both want the same things in life we want to live together get married one day and maybe one day have a child together. But we both know that we both have to kick these addictions in order to have all this. A has registered with a drug service and is due to go into hospital in January to get clean and I'm here at gamcare to try and kick my 11 year addiction to gambling. So there you have it the events of my life that have lead me to this point. I know I can do this I have to if I want this happy family that I've longed for for so long. I have everything I've always wanted sitting in my lap there for the taking all I have to do is stay away from those d**n online slots that have ruled my life for so long.

My last bet was at 5am Wednesday 25th November 2015 when I lost £90.

Much love xxx