Evening All
Ive tried and tried but can never give up. My wife think im having an affair when actually i sneak out the house to play roulette in the local bookies.
Just lost £600 this afternoon. Got the urge and just went in semi comotosed. £200 on blackjack with an aim to win £80 to have a "free" horse bet. Got £80 up but carried on. Lost it all and reoloaded again. Then chased my £400 loss by putting £200 on a horse.
Of course it lost!
In 2014 I got to exactly 100 days bet free then went back in. Reckon I lose at least £2000 a month and owe £80000 in loans/ credit cards.
Still a big secret and it would end my marriage if anyone found out.
Going to try and stop again at the ripe old age of 40.
I can not honestly say through past experience and present . The best thing to do is tell your partner. There is nothing worse than fighting this addiction alone. Do you mean 8000 or 80.000 as that is a hell of a lot of money. Have you seeked debt help?
Hi Dazza
I mean £80,000!
Fortunately I earn a six figure salary so the repayments are manageable. However i should be living like a king rather than scraping by. thanks for the reply.
If you wanna talk more about it mate your welcome. I find it helps me 🙂
Thanks Dazza
If i can get through tomorrow ill have no accesss to gambling until tuesday. Small steps at the moment
thanks for the support
That's 7 days gamble free Now.
Still thinking about the debt but I've made yet another start
any targets or literally just day by day for now?
ayNo targets really Dan
On a positive note I'm 11 days now and didn't really think about it tonight. Take a new route home that is motorway only And pass no bookies. Let's start again tomorrow
Hi Nick, it's not gonna go away mate...You've doubled your debt since your 1st diary entry & this only goes 1 way if you don't commit to your recovery. Our way doesn't work 🙁
I found recovery @ 40ish & spent many of my early months here thinking I was different & that 'my' problem was solely a money one...Turns out it was a me problem & now that I'm working on my 'issues' I'm not really fighting the gambling demon anymore. Draw a line under the debt & get some help from GA & or counselling...The money isn't coming back (other than by hard work) & you don't want your wife to follow suit. It may not be another woman but it's as good as because your heart is elsewhere @ the minute & our loved ones don't deserve that!
You've been here long enough, make this time count - ODAAT
Had a replase today.
Had been 2 weeks clean but gambled today. WOn £300 but so P****d off with myself.
Start again tomorrow
Hey Nick..stick st it! I'm 6 days free after spending 30k online..it's like a drug..be strong
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