Can’t get over my losses

I feel your pain... I constantly chase my losses believing I’m owed something. I don’t play roulette but slots are my downfall. I played again tonight and lost big now I’m lying in bed wishing I could turn back time. I can’t give you any advice because I’ve still yet to overcome my own gambling addiction but justo  let you know your not the only one who feels this way and hopefully with help and guidance we can all find a way out of this horrible existence. 

Hi Tommo84

Putting it simply you have to because its not a get it back later scheme and you are going to feel a sense of cold turkey for your mind to heal.

My mind is crystal clear now. I was mentally ill with an addiction and i chucked my money down a grid. That gives me the focus never to be complacent again about something I had to learn lots about its sheer power to alter the mind.

keep asking yourself why you did it because there is no reasonable answer beyond an addiction which siezed and controlled your mind. Try and explain a gambling session to a non gambler you love or trust.

Listen to what they have to say in response and listen carefully because your story will sound like you are telling them about aliens abducting you. Your story only makes sense to an ill and confused mind.....it makes no sense to a rational person that doesnt gamble.

A scheme has to be reliable and gambling is a random devil may care, fly by night event. Youve been ignoring the odds like we all did...all the risk is with you while the gambling dens finance their yachts

Yo see your brain does have realistic thoughts and they are now playing on your mind...what you could have done with that money...had  a lovely meal or bought an ice cream for young members of your family just to see their smiles....heck I could have bought a car or a house with what Ive chucked away.

Those are normal thoughts but you have to let them go, keep earning money and buy these things at a later date.

You have to because bad thoughts lead to relapses and will just eat you up.

Every thought process...how much would you pay for a jug of water in the desert..everything you have! The money has gone!....move on with your life and seek help.

The gambling door is wide open for you and you need that shut. Temptation was there and you need blocks. This takes more than your willpower alone so tell someone close and get monitored with your money protected. 

You are not alone...millions have done what you have done so it just shows the true scale of a problem that people supposed to protect you are cashing in on

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

Hi @tommo84

It sounds like you are still processing the loss and I understand it can be hard to move on from that at first. Well done for putting the bank block in place to make it easier for you to stop gambling.

It sounds like the GA meetings were really helpful for you so I wanted to let you know that they are currently offering some online meetings at the moment which may help: https://www.gamblersanonymous.org.uk/find-a-meeting

If there is anything more we can do to support you, let us know. We are here to help in any way we can and our free helpline is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week: 0808 8020 133.

Warmest wishes

Zoe

Forum Admin

Most of us are here specifically because we chased our losses. It's not great to lose but most people have the ability to shrug it off and carry on with their day without it even registering in their consciousness. 

We don't and can't do that psychologically for some reason. I used to win a fair bit on horse racing. I kind of knew what I was doing. As I've posted before, even professional horse racing gamblers that make millions from gambling accept that they will lose from time to time. It's about profit in the long-term for them. I couldn't stand losing to the point that I would often chase an overall loss of even just a fiver and sometimes during the chase for that fiver back I would end up in the mess of literally betting thousands to get back the combined losses of the chase just so I could go to bed that night without having lost anything.

Over 100 days later I still break out in a cold sweat thinking how out of control I was that in order to break even on a given day that I would be prepared to stake over a thousand pounds on one bet to try to end the day at £0.00 profit/loss. Unbelievable!

So I would say to you that it's quite normal for you to be obsessing with your stupidity and the loss of that cash, even a few weeks afterwards. BUT - if you can find a way to convince yourself that the money is gone forever and that chasing will only make the situation worse, IF you can find a way to draw a line in the sand and let the loss go....over time, without further gambling, it does get easier to forget or maybe not forget but think back to it without any physical pain and just admit that yup, I was a sucker and the bookies/casino got me BUT never again!!!!

Thanks so much to all who commented.All feedback has been useful to me and it’s appreciated.Some days the thoughts of loss are stronger than others.The ironic thing about my situation is that the night I got online I had money in the bank and was saving well after landing myself a decent job in January,yet I was greedy and wanted more money.I gamble when I’m skint to try and make a few quid and I gamble when I’ve managed to save.Maybe it was the lesson I needed.Its certainly made me reconsider playing roulette.In all honesty I have been placing small football bets once a week even though I probably shouldn’t but I’m just hanging on to try and claw anything back.Gambling just sucks but that urge I had that night over powered me and unfortunately I had the ammunition to fire.A good friend from GA who sadly passed away 3 years ago used to say that sometimes you need a bit of s**t to give you a reminder of why you stopped gambling.The last bit of damage I did playing roulette was the 17th of September in the casino. I’ve not played roulette since.

Hi, I was exactly the same, lost over £30k of life savings but I am learning slowly to let go of the lost money and move on, it’s so hard, I am 70 days gambling free and I lost my beautiful mum 5 weeks ago.  My head is so painful some days but letting go of the lost cash and making a savings and debt payment plan helps.  I have so many debts but I can cope.  Life can get better. Focus on what you can do not what you have done. xx

Welcome to the losers club guys, the more we chase it the less chances to win we have.

All those games are about having fun, and ignoring money, once we focus on winning only - not the fun, we lack the energy to get the win, and dig a deeper hole. After all money is just an energy, and energy is attracted only to passion, fun, enjoyment.

Not long ago had a good day so decided to play some, won £10000, so finally was happy because got some money back, of courses it wasn't enough so week later lost £2000, and started chasing it, ending up losing the whole £10000, and extra £2000.

Should have walked away after the win.

Let's not forget even the money we win comes from guys like us who lose tons of money in despair, it's not really a "happy" cash.

Best for all of us to find a new hobby ?

So sorry to hear that.You sound like a strong character.Well done.