I've been gambling for 3 yrs now got in 44000 pounds in dept on credit cards and loans . Come to the point I was hiding the accounts from husband . Had to tell him been depressed and not sleeping ,he's been very under standing he's not sleeping now but he said he would help me with my problem gambling but it's hard not too , we starting to talk about the dept , don't no how to pay it off . used all our savings as well.not gambled for 6 days now.just seeing what he's going through hurts me .
Hi Wea31577,
I`ve just come clean as well, all I can say well done for doing so. I feel the same - noone else can punish me more than I can myself, he is hurting too, and working through it..... It is a difficult time for both of you.... The one advice I can give- I try myself not to think about how much money we`ve lost either, because you will go mental, and it will be a temptation for you that the only way you can win it back...... is how you got here in the first place. And we all know d**n well it isn`t. Try not to be too harsh on yourself, but just remember how bad, miserable and depressed it made you feel losing all that money - I am sure there will be a solution to solve the financial part of it together with your other half - but don`t ever thing gambling again will be the solution.... Good luck and let us know if you need support.
Well done - both of you. You are so brave and have such an understanding husbands. Im too much of a chicken to tell him...........i know i break his heart but at the moment i am keep it strong and not gambling.
Well done for seeking help too. Have a read thru other people advice and keep a recovery diary really help. Find out your trigger points and keep a positive mentality. Also if you doubting your strongwill - put up the barriers such as blocks on phone and laptop and pass on the financial controls.
As for financial - if your creditors start chasing you and you can't keep up repayment plus interest, i would suggest Payplan who is a debt management company who help you organise all creditors and you only have to pay what you can afford to pay a month ie say £500 and they will use that money spread amongst creditors. They will advice you what route to take. I heard they are the company who does not take fees - as some do - so you actually end up repaying your debt and paying someone to sort your debt - so watch out.
Its a first step and keep up the good work and if you ever feel low or urges - come back here and let off some steam and emotion. I know its hard and try not let your guilt eat up.........you just have to and move on and fix it.
Lucy x
Hello,
I am the wife of a CG; the children and I found out the hard way about my husband's gambling and the fact that he didn't even come clean made a bad situation much worse for us. So for what it's worth, I think you have both done the right thing, presumably it wasn't easy. Recovery involves an end to the lies, it involves honesty and financial transparency going forwards and not just trying to abstain. Hopefully your wives will help you with the barriers and managing the finances. The rest comes from you, it will be for you to show and keep showing your commitment to recovery, to stick with it, to stick with GA and counselling. Nothing's easy about this addiction from either side of the fence.
Wish you well.
CW
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