Consumed by Gambling

I get you my friend 

I hadn't gambled for over a year then out of the blue I got an email saying top up getb £10 well I thought it's only  £10 and my partner won't even know well you know the rest of the story 1hr later I had lost nearly  £8000 who could've thought such an amount in such a short period of time, atleast you had it saved man as all mine was debt and the best off it was my partners PayPal account so for some reason you don't just have PayPal credit you've got a PayPal ballance so after it wiped all her bank and her arranged overdraft and into an unarranged overdraft leaving a negative ballance off  £4000 on PayPal, things that bad last week that I had to go to the church for 2 food parcels what a total embarrassment what a dad not a very good impression to my kids my partner has been off with me and if it wasn't for her worrying how to pay all that money back she would've me out. I don't blame her but I've got everyone involved with at the moment as I was stupid and tried to kill myself. So my friend I know how you feel and that feeling at the pit of your stomach. Just ban yourself from everything as that roulette is pure evil and the amount you can lose in such a short period is really wrong I don't know any other addiction we're you can lose that amount so quick 

Roulette has caused such damage in your life but yet you have a roulette wheel as your avatar. 

I remember a guy at a GA meeting who wore a roulette wheel watch, which although was probably "cool" for those who liked the idea of such a watch, wouldn't let go of his past. Didn't listen and ended up gambling again.

I hope you don't and it's only a picture but let go of it and have a future which doesn't include gambling references.

Chris.

I agree with Chris as soon as I started reading your post my eyes kept flicking back to the picture of the roulette wheel. Don't torture yourself with what you are trying to leave behind. What is it about roulette? Huge majority of people with massive loses on here seems to be roulette !! Scary mind boggling stuff. Wish you all the best that you can find a way forward

The picture is down, the reason I put that picture up the first place was because it was a wheel with the devils horns either side indicating that the game is pure evil but I apologise to anyone who may have felt any urges due to it. I am here for support and to hopefully be able to offer it to others if a can do so in any way. My past 14 years  have been destroyed by every form of gambling known to man but I refuse to let this defeat me ever again and I pray all of us can find the strength to beat urges and never relapse from our progression. Thanks for all your posts, the help believe it or not 

It's along time 14yrs my friend 

Have you gave up before? If yes how long if you don't mind me asking?  The roulette I've never found something I think is more evil than that machine, I'm bemused how there's a £2 stake in the shops but online you can do what you want, they know they've got alot of problem gamblers and the industry will just ignore this,  it's okay putting New law's in but these have to be monitored and if a betting company isn't keeping to the new law's fine them and help the problem gambler out no good fining them and putting back in the system. I was that bad I decided to kill myself but luckily my daughter found me in time but I can't be the only one who feels like this 

@consumed-by-gambling 

Thanks. It was only for your benefit, not mine. Any advice I give is through my experience of this illness and i know how devious the addiction can be. 

I hope you can see some instant benefits at work and see that there's more to life. It's hard work but you've done the biggest thing which is admit you need help.

Keep going.

Chris.

No thank you. I’m not taking any advice I receive here personal. The door to being addiction free is now open for me, once I’m through it I want it locked forever 

Well said Chris as something like that could be a trigger I've got so many triggers I never knew until I've been chatting to people and I think why did I not see that. Another one to my list 

Yeah we all want what's best for you. I want all of us to succeed. I want all of us to be the ones posting one year GF  two years GF ......Triggers can be subtle I went into one of my bags and found bingo dabbers and burst into tears !! All we can do is confront things keep the blocks in place and try and be kinder to ourselves. Best wishes to everyone. Day 14 for me today !!! Yeyyyyyyy

On the 22nd may I joined gamcare. I have blocked any online gambling. I have been able to manage easily because no bookmakers where open till monday 15th June. I am now finding it hard today as I have been stuck inside due to heavy rain and am very bored. I know I cant gamble which is good, but mentally it is draining me for the first time. I am off work today as I am on a weeks holiday and bored with watching everything on telly.  I am proud of myself as i have been gambling for over 30 years and have made it now for 27 days gamble free.  I know I have to get me mind thinking in a new way and look at everything I have to gain. Think positively dont dwell on the past. Positive points since I stopped gambling: 1 no more lies. 2 money in pocket. 3 focus on something new (music, cooking  hobbies etc). 4 long walks (space to think). 5 time to chat or contact relatives. 6 loads of brilliant friends on gamcare in the same boat as you. 7 you can watch your football team on the telly if your in to it. 8 learn new skills. 9 learn from your mistakes, losing loads of money on the 22nd may was a good thing for me as it made me make a decision  to get a way from evil gambling and has given me a chance to start breathing again. Gòod luck to everyone on their journeys and stay positive. I know its tough but at the same time were only human, beating yourself up all the time wont do any good. Come on my first month gamble free. One little bad joke to make you giggle. There was an incident in the zoo today, a load of black and white bears escaped. IT WAS PANDAMONIUM. stay strong everyone.

Hi, I placed my first ever post on the forum the other day and bizarrely it felt good to put some of my feelings down into words and hopefully the same happened for you. As I say, I only joined two days ago so I know that there are many people here better equipt than me to offer wise words to you. But I can say well done for joining and well done for publicly acknowledging your losses and your mistakes. I think the road to recovery is a long haul but surely you've taken a first mighty step with your post. Allow yourself to feel good about that at least!

I feel a sense that many people are in this community not so much just because they gamble but more specifically I think the financial damage comes from chasing our losses. Even those very few human beings that succeed at gambling or even make a living from it, lose bets. The difference in their personalities is they have the ability to accept a loss and keep their brains clear by looking at the long-term. I think most of us,in whatever format of gambling we chose, have ego issues whereby for the period we gamble we are kings when things go well (I've found a system to beat the bookies or the roulette table that no human before me has ever thought of)...and we are clowns when things don't go well (I just lost that £100, I need to immediately get it back, I can't go to sleep tonight accepting I've lost that money, I need to do everything to chase that loss). 

You've already made the best decision of your life which was to look at the gambler in you through the mirror and decide you don't like what you see or who you are. Remember, the gambler in you is just one aspect of your personality, a big part true but never the less it does not represent who you really are and certainly not who you want to be.

If you are like me, the first day of the loss you thought about it every second of the day. It will get better. It will start becoming minute, then every hour, then every day, month...and you'll reach a point I'm sure when you only think about it occasionally. 

The real work is not in thinking about our stupidity and our financial losses but in accepting it and working to prevent ourselves ever getting into those situations again. I wish you the best of luck on your journey. Think about your journey positively and gradually. Tonight when you go to bed, think about despite your gnawing worries over the loss, think what a positive day it was that you didn't gamble and you didn't lose any money...already better than the day before (-:

Both mythdunk and yozza (mouthful and pizza according to autocorrect.... Now I have the giggles)

Ok serious head on they both bare their souls on here and I think helping other gamblers is a must in recovery. Helping others helps to heal our own minds and hearts . Keep posting consumed in 14 days in now and I can't explain how much it is helping. Laughter isthebest  medicine I think my husband mistakes me laughing for me not caring. Which is a million miles from the truth. However I do feel v guilty about the pain he is obviously going through. Can I change that......no. What can I do......stay GF. He won't speak to anyone he won't read the posts that I'm sure would help him . Yozza  today is a tough day seems like your first big test stay strong u can do it

Thanks been the aldi in the rain. At least no queues outside. Just because you dont gamble means you have to be miserable. Laughter is the best solution and costs nothing. It got me through at my worst times when I did gamble. I know you liked your bingo but never play myself. Always worried there would be C*****e addicts looking for a line. Stay well everyone