Morning Guys, I hope that you are all well.
As I write this I feel guilty. I feel ashamed. I have lied to my wife and I feel distant from my kids. I am an addict but I want to get better.
I started off Gambling years ago fiver in the fruit machine then a tenner in the bookies on a Saturday. Then I got a smartphone and had access to multiple bookmakers. I found the idea of matched betting and started opening new accounts for the offers then laying the free bets off to make a profit. My wife was ok with this as I had explained that it was free cash at the end of the day.
This is when it starts going wrong, I get greedy, I wasn’t more profit, but a matched bet then turns into a risk bet which loses. So I have lost money, I then try to win back that money. Fast forward a few months and that keeps happening. I take out payday loans to pay for my gambling thinking that I can pay it back by matched betting and winning a few offers. This doesn’t happen so I put a couple of quid into an online casino and win £100, maybe this is the answer to get out of the mess I have caused. No, I end up losing the hundred quid and more, much more.
At this point my wife starts to question why I had taken £20, £30, £50 out of our account, I say that it’s so that I can lay a bet off and that the money will be back in our account in a few days. Oh man, as I write this I am so scared. The money didn’t go back into our account, nor did it go back to pay the payday loans. It was lost. w*f have I done.
Anyway last Thursday my wife asked where I had put the £100 that I got for trading in some of my sons Nintendo games which he didn’t use, I had spent that money on bets on the Man United v Newcastle Match and again on online slots. So we have an argument as I again try to tell her that I’ve used it for matched betting. I come clean and explain that I think I’ve got a problem, I then continue to lie when my wife asks how much debt I’m in. I explain that I’m just behind on a couple of credit cards.
I don’t tell her that I am approx £15K in debt on loans, used to pay for other debt and gambling.
my wife went away for the weekend with her friends, I promised her that I wouldn’t gamble again but I put another three bets of £10 and again went on the slingo machines to try and win back. I spend most of Friday Afternoon speaking with someone at Gamcare but then I still persisted on putting a bet on (albeit not as much) over the weekend.
Before she left on Friday she said that we will have a chat on Monday about where we are up to and wants me to write everything down for us to discuss.
I am so scared, I am ashamed, I have lied about so many things I am worried that she is going to walk out and take our children or throw me out and ask me to leave. I am so scared to lose it all when I explain how much debt I am in.
I don’t want to be this person anymore.
I will today exclude from all gambling and add Gamban to all devices.
This is day one!
Danny
Hi there. First of all well done for joining us here and for starting all the blocks and restrictions that are possible
a I am no expert but from now on you have to change completely accountability is the main focus one hundred percent openness in financials and accounts
Its back to basics all past losses are just that in the past and not recoverable going forward it’s totally structured this along with a very open relationship with all the family will be a kick start
Once back on an even keel look to get out of old routine and be very aware of switching off even momentarily get help straight away and have no access to funds . Best
Hi,
All you can do now is be completely honest about everything. If you don’t and carry on lying to her, it will get worse and she will find out.
You can obviously see that you have a problem and that’s a great start, but unless you open up, you’ll be jeopardising your recovery and your family.
I am a compulsive gambler, I ran up a huge amount of debt (4 x more than you) and even took out debt in my husband’s name. He would have found out anyway and I just prolonged the agony for so long. BUT, he has been so supportive and trying to understand, never once shouted at me or made me feel bad over it. This could be the same for your wife! Trust me, she may be hurt and upset, but she’ll be grateful for your honesty.
Good luck,
Claire x
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