I have been on and off gambling for four years. This started very healthy and profitable (as I'm sure it does for many) as I started learning about matched betting. I did this initially to make spending morning for travelling around Thailand, I made around XXX. For most of my life I have been one of the most responsible people I know. I have never had an overdraft, never owed anyone more than £100 (not even my family) and would never, ever, ever consider proper gambling. However, after my first profitable stint on matched betting, I tried it again. I was met with the same free bet offers but this time I couldn't see the harm in using these to gamble for real. I made some money and started to deposit actual money, only around £5/10 at first. I was managing to win the same money back. Then I would try with £20-50 and managed to double my money in a day. Then I decided to go in with £200 to see how much I could make. My first big win was XXX. WOW! I started to think why I had spent years being so sensible with money and saving all of the time when I could make money this way. That is when something switched in my head and I lost who I was. I initially put this money in my savings but after a week it was all gone plus £2500 of an overdraft. After a sleepless night and a breakdown, I admitted to my boyfriend, whom I had just bought a house with after all of my strict savings. He was understanding that I had just made a dumb mistake and help empower me to get off the sites and start paying this back. This abstinence lasted not even a month. I went back on the sites but kept this a secret, I was chasing the initial loss and got very good at lying. I even took out an extra payday loan with terrible interest. My worse month ever saw me spend all of my wage in two days, that was when I admitted again. My partner hit the roof but that is what I needed. That was two days ago and my partner is working to help me. I have put on a GamStop block, paid off the payday loan, found a personal loan with small repayments and set up a plan for myself. It was a massive relief to admit all and stop the lying. Day one of no gambling was so nice and peaceful but I have to admit today it harder. I'm finding it so hard to get over what I have done and the shame I have. Depression is catching up with me as I realise the debt I have and that my gambling was not a nightmare, it was real!
Day three- still feeling slightly stressed working out consolidating all of my debt, looking forward to that being sorted to start paying it off slowly each month. Still have the feelings of being pathetic and stupid for what I have done but my partner is giving me lots of love and understanding. Making a greater effort to just get on with my day and remain busy. Having said this, what I am experiencing is way better then when I was in the grips of the gambling.
hey, how are you feeling now? The guilt is hard. I know exactly what you mean but one day at a time we will get through it and get better! You have done the hardest part admitting there is a problem so well done! I'm so glad you have your partners support too. Hope you are well.
Hey , I hope you are still fighting. The scariest part you have done. Admitting to family or friends, it becomes real then and not just an internal battle. For me admitting to my partner was going to be the end of my world as I knew it. But turned out to be one of the happiest days of my life. Because once I said it. Cliche I know but the weight of it lifted. Of course not everyone’s experience is like that but it became her battle too by choice. I’v been gamble free for over 6 months i believe and my relationship has never been better. It gets easier. Keep going. Your doing amazing. 1 day or 6 months. It’s another day you haven’t gambled. Everyday is as important as the next
I have been on and off gambling for four years. This started very healthy and profitable (as I'm sure it does for many) as I started learning about matched betting. I did this initially to make spending morning for travelling around Thailand, I made around XXX. For most of my life I have been one of the most responsible people I know. I have never had an overdraft, never owed anyone more than £100 (not even my family) and would never, ever, ever consider proper gambling. However, after my first profitable stint on matched betting, I tried it again. I was met with the same free bet offers but this time I couldn't see the harm in using these to gamble for real. I made some money and started to deposit actual money, only around £5/10 at first. I was managing to win the same money back. Then I would try with £20-50 and managed to double my money in a day. Then I decided to go in with £200 to see how much I could make. My first big win was XXX. WOW! I started to think why I had spent years being so sensible with money and saving all of the time when I could make money this way. That is when something switched in my head and I lost who I was. I initially put this money in my savings but after a week it was all gone plus £2500 of an overdraft. After a sleepless night and a breakdown, I admitted to my boyfriend, whom I had just bought a house with after all of my strict savings. He was understanding that I had just made a dumb mistake and help empower me to get off the sites and start paying this back. This abstinence lasted not even a month. I went back on the sites but kept this a secret, I was chasing the initial loss and got very good at lying. I even took out an extra payday loan with terrible interest. My worse month ever saw me spend all of my wage in two days, that was when I admitted again. My partner hit the roof but that is what I needed. That was two days ago and my partner is working to help me. I have put on a GamStop block, paid off the payday loan, found a personal loan with small repayments and set up a plan for myself. It was a massive relief to admit all and stop the lying. Day one of no gambling was so nice and peaceful but I have to admit today it harder. I'm finding it so hard to get over what I have done and the shame I have. Depression is catching up with me as I realise the debt I have and that my gambling was not a nightmare, it was real!
Depression is real,we need help and advice.You are right,the gamble is real and the chaos that brings in our life's is massive.We gonna make it,not gambling I think is already a win for us that we are so addictive to gambling
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