I have just done an online shop so that I know i will survive the next 2 weeks. No blocking filter works on my old laptop due to a works company administrator setting. So I guess will power it will have to be . I lost 9k last night .
I am so low . I know all the right things but dont do them - why ? because i am stupid. REALLY stupid.
Could things be worse im not sure
Sam
things could be very much worse Sam...you might not have had the money to do that online shop.That 9k could be more if you had not stopped. You can sort this out...if you stop now.No more gambling...nothing will get that money back except to stop gambling and start saving.When i lost the first 1500 i could not believe how stupid i was but years later that 1500 has turned into over 100,000. Why couldnt I stop at even 20k...I would be very greatful if I had done. But I also didnt realise at that time that it could get worse...very much worse. The only way for me it can get worse now is if I get myslef into so much debt that the only solution I can see is suicide...I dont want that so no option now but to stop. Learn the lesson now for that 9k...its gone and if you go back to chase it like i did...you could be double that figure by next month. The first 1500 I lost was completely devastatng...and thats why I was so determined to get it back. I didnt understand gambling addiction at the time...and how its just a never ending and progressive disease. Its that progression that lead to such huge losses...if only Id stopped at 9k. The amounts are irrevelant. Money comes and goes and I know right now it seems like the worst thing in the world.But believe me its not...imagine how bad you are feeling now and double that pain when you lose more. Because thats what WILL happen if you gamble again.Like someone said on here...that 9k was the investment in your future...it took that 9k for you to realise that you cannot keep doing this.Best money ever spent to ensure you quit gambling and kick this addiction. I really feel for you coz Ive been there...I just lost 7k in the last 2 months...the last 500 of that just 2 nights ago.But thats the end...no more. I will end up in a psychatric unit or worse if I dont stop. Just do it...no matter what, find the determination not to keep ruing your life. Its short and precious and gambling doesnt make you happy. We think it does...but it doesnt when we lose...and when we win its not enough...we go back for more coz we are gonna be lucky this time...and lose lose lose...over and over again. Good luck...make the decsion...put a few plans in place...and tomorrow wyou will feel a little less low.
Thank you valdab . I have taken a lot of steps today towards self healing
Much love
Sam
Hi Sam, we will definitely beat this together
Thanks Stanpaul
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