Desperate need advice

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Lots of people start the downward spiral with a win. The gambling industry pay IT gaming experts a lot of money to deliberately design features that get their punters hooked then keep them playing. You're not the first to be pulled in this way and you won't be the last. The only way to win at gambling - especially modern style - is to not do it.

I note you've said you won't be able to explain what you've done so your partner will understand. It might help to know Mr L has never been able to adequately explain it to me and I've come to accept it's something I'm never going to get an answer to. What is helpful for him and me is his weekly attendance at GA. They 'get' it in a way I never will.

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Hi BW, your post makes me sad. You think someone's amazing but they talk to you like ***t. That makes you feel like gambling. You don't want to tell him because of how he will react. That's how he reacts when you ask for advice. You don't want to ruin his holiday. I think you know why you don't want to tell him. Why is it ok for him to talk to you like that? If you do decide to tell him I think you should do it when someone else is with you. Please stop thinking you deserve to be treated like this. You've got your meeting tonight which hopefully will give you a bit more support, help you see that you're not alone. Good luck!

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Hey love...I've just had a quick catch up with your story love..
Are stories are very simular. ..
Hubbys sound very alike. ...
So i sense you're fear in telling him....take a look at my diary when you got time love...it explains my situation...may help...may not...
your Last post hit me in the eyes...
About hubby talking to you like #^*#...mine did...occasionally does now....but I've got the strength now I'm not hiding Any thing to fire back. ...and trust me I do....
I would take the way he spoke to me on the chin....wouldnt risk anything letting my secret out the bag. ...and like you said...it made me want to run to the slots even more....chicken /egg ...vicious circle....
Now...everything out in the open and I'm not hiding anything I'm strong...confident and can hold my own. ...
You'll get the drift of my marriage from my diary. ...I'm still not shore how things will turn out for us. ..but for now. ...I'm gamble free and neither online slots or hubby putting me down will take anymore from me...
But of a jumbled ..rushed reply love....but just wanted you to know I felt exactly the same...catch up when work done ...take care xx

Hey BW555 I've caught up with your story and I'm sorry you are feeling like this. As the wife of a compulsive gambler I would say it is easier (although not an attractive thought) to talk to your husband before he finds out himself as I've found a lot of comfort in the fact my husband confessed rather than me having to dig around. I'm sorry he is speaking to you like that, none of us can predict his reaction but you can only start to get proper help once it is out in the open as addiction thrives on lies and dishonesty. Good luck and keep posting xx

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I'm sorry to see the way he speaks to you. Not wanting to tell him when you get that kind of reaction to a perfectly normal question is understandable. I would be surprised if he didn't realise the way he's speaking to you isn't on though especially as presumably he manages to treat work bosses, colleagues and friends with respect. Going crazy over small things isn't normal. I would echo MGR firstly in makng sure someone else is with you when you tell him and secondly in thinking about why you feel it's OK for him to treat you like this.

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Hi BW555

Sorry you are still suffering. I struggle to recognise this "amazing person" with the way you say he treats you but no-one truly knows anyone else's relationship so wrong of me to comment really.

Not trying to push you into doing anything you don't want to do but from what you say he is going to find out anyway so I do think you are possibly putting yourself through even more pain by delaying it.

You are convinced it is going to be terrible and you are going to feel even worse afterwards but you know you have to do it.

So you do it and there are three outcomes - the catastrophic one you believe is going to happen where he is totally unsupportive, makes you feel worse and leaves you. That is what you are expecting so you are no worse off. The best case where is says that's fine, I am totally ok with what you have done and will support you totally and buys you flowers - probably not going to happen and not particularly helpful to a CG who needs to feel some consequences for what they have done. Most likely outcome is somewhere in between - is upset/shocked, says a few choice words but supports you to some degree - might be time to find out just how amazing he really is?

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