Don't think I'll make it to 30

All the advice and support is great.. I have been here before and been very stubborn about wanting to be able to control my gambling because I win I just don't walk but now I'm gambling until January first and then I'm making the decision to just stop cold turkey. I'm giving up trying to live in harmony with gambling and trying to make it work. In regards to having time to gamble, in my last job I literally just left the warehouse to gamble when I felt like it.. I admit my addiction is pretty severe and if I can gamble and I'm able to then I'll do it anywhere.. having an income isn't beneficial if you just lose it all which is why I quit and in not working.. I've probably had about 30 jobs over the years easily and gambling has put me in prison. Working and putting blocks in place doesn't work for me because I don't care about rules and consequences BUT I think I've reached the point where I've truly had enough so.. let's see how next year goes. 

Thank you all

How are you getting on Jamoo?? Has the new year helped bring around positive change?? 🙂

Yeah it's not been great to be honest. Thanks for checking in though, I appreciate it.

Dear @1punchjamoo,

I wanted to check in with you and see if we can help as you are experiencing not such a great time at the moment.

It sounds like you have had a tough time with the rollercoaster that gambling can often cause, but I do hear that despite your uncertainty about not caring about the rules, that you are truly at a point where you want to make the changes you need to become more in control of your gambling.

Please remember that we are here 24/7 on the helpline or netline. If you feel that you would like to talk about what’s been happening and how we can help, then do get touch.

Regardless of how raw it can feel, there is always hope.

Kind regards

Jo

Forum Admin

Dont give up hope yet you sound so defeated, have you accessed any treatment at all through gamcare. Its okay have blocks and exclusions but it wont necessary change your thoughts. 

Gamcare can refer you for further treatment and support. Their is even nhs run gambling clinics. It really sounds like you need help  Even if your not sure its worth to  just contact the advisors to see if they can help

Lou x 

Please can you go to a GA meeting.  Its the only thing at this stage I think will help.  

Hi 1punch,

Thanks for sharing your story.

You had perfectly illustrated the your monkey self, which is roughly 4 times stronger than yourself.

Take all the given help and guidance in beating this monkey.

Just remember this:

The only way to beat gambling is to walk away from it, entirely for life.

Be a man, and the your losses on the chin like everyone else.

Xoi

Ps stay sane, safe, calm, and take one day at a time

Struggling doesnt make you any less of a man i dont like that term 'be a man' 

Losses are difficult to deal with at first, but you have to accept you will never get the loss back. And work on repairing your finances through help such as stepchange.

Theres lots of different options available for help and support if and when you feel ready.

Lou x

Hi, I 100% agree with what lou has posted. Struggling does not make you weak or less of a man. All it means is that you have to have a careful look at what you can do to make things easier for yourself. Keep reading keep posting and you will find something that works. You can do this !

Thanks everyone. 

But I am weak or I'd be able to stop. I've been doing this for over 10 years and it's literally ruined my life. No one wants to be with me because you need money for like.. life. It's changed who I am as a person, I've done things which have sent me to prison, I lose my temper and hurt myself my punching walls or I just break my things. I've jus tost and I feel so helpless.. I can't do a thing. Step change won't get rid of my debts, they can't do anything I can't do, in able to talk to companies and tell them I'm an idiot and that I can only afford x amount. When I lose I send angry emails and usually get a month of being left alone but the debt is still there. My phone bill is £460 soon to be 500 and so my phones been cut off which doesn't help with life tbh. I just want to destroy things and stab myself. I want but I have the strongest urge to just repeatedly stab myself but I wouldn't even be able to do it once unfortunately. 

Another month in bed hating myself until I can lose my universal credit all over again I guess. 

I'll talk to the people on here right now and see what they say.. but honestly. Nothing anyone says makes me feel better. I'm broken and I can't be fixed with words. I hate myself so much right now. 

I *WON'T but I have the strongest urge to just repeatedly stab myself

Ok I think I've hit a new low, I'm a straight guy and I'm considering *** prostitution because I can't wait another month

Hi there.  Firstly, there's no question that our gambling addiction can lead us to despair and it's clear to me you know the score with all this.  The important thing is continue to talk and rationalise all of this; because the more you think and talk about it the more informed you'll be.

I sense that you have a foreboding that when you next get your Universal Credit you might spend it on gambling,  and this where you need to act before that happens. Here's a chance to take back some control.

At the moment, what with lockdowns, the only gambling available is online. Do make sure, if you haven't already, that you sign up to GamStop (5yrs) and download Gamban onto one of your devices. Once you've done that, you can log onto your Gamban account on another device and load it there too. Repeat for all devices you have.

This will take an hour max to do all this. It's a positive start. You could share the news, here, with Gamcare, loved ones etc.  You'll receive a positive response because you're taking control. Or, just keep it quietly to yourself. Whatever suits YOU.

When you get your benefits, you'll be mindful of debts you have in hand. You say Stepchange are unable to assist but there may be other avenues. You're negotiating personally with the lenders so keep doing that - at the very least, do your best to put a block on all new interest charges.  State the reality to them; all lenders have to be pragmatic and would rather get something rather than nothing. Don't worry about your credit score at the moment - that's another issue for another day.

Now, you know, I know, we all know that when we gamble we cannot keep hold of our winnings. We always give it back. So, it follows, that if someone were to give you cash to bail you out it wouldn't help; so that's not the answer.

When you get your next Universal Credit, you would normally spend some of that on gambling. But not this time.

This time, pay out what you have to - you'll know what you have to sort out - and then use the rest to buy stuff you need.  You might invest in good food, clothes, stuff you need and will make the next month better for you. Spend it before you have it burning a hole in your pocket. Yeah, treat yourself if you can. A reward for not gambling it away.

These steps will make you feel better. Because you're doing something to help you.  Small but very powerful steps.

Anyway try to get some sleep although I can talk. I don't sleep well either but it's not gambling on my mind tonight admittedly, I've got other problems on my mind.

I wish you well mate. Hope this helps. 

Your advice, lous advice, chrlieboys advice.. it's all good for normal people but if I block myself then I won't stop I'll just make it more complicated and I'll get myself wound up and do something stupid. I'd spend hundreds on scratch cards or lotto tickets.. I'd find a way around gameban, I'd make new accounts, steal someones card and make one on there's... I'd do the most. I've experienced it when I'm put on settings to stop myself, I go crazy.. 

I have no issue with interest, I got a £500 loan that was meant to have over £2000 paid back down to £100 and my othr loans I've had since 2019.. step change can't help me. I just want enough to pay it all off.. 

I plan beforehand but once that money comes..I lose control. 

I don't see and end to this. 

Wsup with you ?

Hi. 

Thanks for asking how I am ... Well, I'm going through the mill but getting on with it. I'm chatting to someone tomorrow and that will help me. Whatever the problem, we've got to talk, talk, talk.

Yes, point taken about the scratchcards etc.  And yes, you're right, there are ways of circumnavigating the internet blockers. Like you, I know all this and that why I've personally taken my blocks to a new level; I don't control my finances. My Mum does. But I do it because I have to be pragmatic. 

I don't buy all this "I find it demeaning to pass across financial control" c**P. Fact is, this is a weakness we have and we have to get on with it.

You talk about other ways to make money, well, what can I say. I know, you know, it won't help. You'd still gamble it anyway so you're not really getting to the root of the problem.

You DO have financial nous in the way you're managing your debts. Focus on your lenders, using the money you have wisely. You know, I know, 'quick fixes' don't work.  Quick fixes, quick wins - it just keeps the problem going. 

You know the obstacles, you know your weaknesses and therefore you know the score.  You're talking to an old hand here, I'm in my fifties and this addiction has haunted me for years. Don't turn into a ghost like me. You're 28 and believe me, you can start to turn this around today.