DanHi I've joined the forum because I'm hoping to get some help and inspiration to kick this habit once and for all, I have to really it's gotten really bad.
I've always liked a little bet on the football and felt I had it under control, in 2015 a friend of mine won a radio competition for her and ten friends to have a free night at a casino, (free meal free bets etc) I wasn't particularly interested but I thought it would be something different, and it was free so I went. I enjoyed it so much and critically I won a bit of money, not much but enough to pique my interest, over the following months I found myself going at the end of a night out, losing 100s of pounds, my friends and wife saw this was becoming an issue for me and talked to me about it, I saw it was and managed to pull back from it and self excluded myself from the casinos in the area. Over the next couple of years I dabbled in online gambling mostly just sports betting, but it was at the turn of this year things became out of hand.
I began to bet on blackjack, I've found I can rack up the wins but I literally cannot stop there, always wanting a bit more then losing it then chasing my losses...basically you know the story and you know how it gets you. I self exclude from a site with the best intentions and then open an account with a new site. Basically since the start of January, I've racked 8 grand worth of credit card debt using money transfers, as well as 6 and a half grand loan. That's close to 15 grand in a few months, on gambling. I'm broken and so so ashamed, I will be paying these things off for years, my family will go short every month because of me, because of my greed and selfishness. It makes me feel sick when I think of it. But do I stop, no. Last night I blew 100 pounds on blackjack. During a dinner party I sat in the bathroom and did this. My wife doesn't have a clue. I hate what I've become, me gambling has ruined my life and my family's future how can I ever pull back from that. How do you live with that? The losses? The debt? And the shame of it? Dan
Hi Dan, there’s not an easy answer to cure this terrible addiction however one thing is certain that you need to stop now. Your story is similar to mine where I was fairly happy doing sports bets until I played Roulette one day. Then it got out of control and I was chasing loses everyday including at the dinner table on Christmas Day etc. I had debts of about 10k to start and because I didn’t stop it turned into £50k +. I’m no expert but if you really want to give up you should register for GamStop so that you can block the online access and then you will need willpower to really beat this once and for all. Other people with more experience will give you more advice on the best steps but that will only work if you want it to. The money is lost and that’s what you need to face up to. Gambling more will only increase your debt until you really hit rock bottom and the debts will be out of control. I struggle with the thought of my debts that I have created which stops me spending it on my family, however with every day that you don’t gamble you will feel better about yourself and start to be the person that you used to be. Good luck with your battle and I wish you all the best.
Thank you, I've registered for Gamstop which is something I'd been putting off. Deep down I always felt like I'd get that win that would solve it all, but that isn't going to happen
That’s what I did mate for a long time. We’ve all had good wins over the years but unfortunately we get greedy and think we can beat the bookie. Yes you can get lucky however the more you gamble the more you lose. I thought of every system going and eventually you have to admit that you’ve been broken. I’m only 54 days GF but feel like this is it this time because i’ve Finally realised that you can’t win. My family is the most important thing and I turned into something that I really didn’t like. Looking in the mirror was impossible and I was so ashamed of my behaviour. I’ve been here before so I know that the battle is not over yet but all we can do is put the blocks in place and if we really want to give up then we can get there. The first few weeks are the worst as your brain is well trained in the gambling world. However as the time passes it is possible to rewire you mind to think normally again and focus on what is important in your life. The hardest part is letting the debts go. If you continue to focus on that you will always continue to gamble and try to Chase the losses.
You did well to go to gamstop now try any other blocks you can do they do help and thats what will help u now.
See that last £100 as paying the entry fee to stopping this and you will find it’s the best £100 you have ever spent . It will only get worse if you don’t tackle this now . The good news is that things get better very quickly and you can re structure payments later once you face this . I went through a Debt management plan for 7 years (and still gambled ) but it meant that the payments were affordable and my family didn’t go without . I did but that’s penance . I have stopped now for 6 months and my credit score has gone to almost perfect and managed to get a bridging loan at a much better rate of interest , yes when I re mortgage in December it will be added to it BUT with the better rates I have available will cancel out with what I am paying now . All in all I saved £900 a month that was just going to service debts . But I couldn’t be in the right mindset to do it whilst still gambling. What I am trying to say in a convoluted way is that the money side is the easiest and quickest thing to solve so don’t use that as an emotional tool on yourself to say forget it , just carry on I’m knackered anyway . Focus on honesty to people around you including yourself . Becoming a non gambler takes time and effort but it’s much better than the situation you are describing now . Give it 3 months and if things don’t improve for you then try dipping your toe back in this misery we create for ourselves . Good luck and if you need any advice or support there are people around this site like myself who are happy to assist . For us it’s part of becoming a non gambler to be unselfish and trying to give back to others so don’t hesitate to ask
Thank you so much for the advice and I really feel like coming on this forum will be a big help, already just reading other people's stories and positive changes they've gone through is inspiring me. I'm going to try and get on a dmp but on the meantime the important thing is not to gamble. I think about it constantly, the World Cup doesn't help but there you go there will always be temptation. I didn't gamble yesterday and I won't gamble today
Register with gamstop. Then download K9 software on all your gadgets/devices and get a friend to be the admin so they will know the passowrd to K9 and not you so you can't go changing or getting around it.
It hasn't ruined your life yet but you're on the brink. There's always another trapdoor to fall through where compulsive gambling is concerned. If you don't take active measures to stop now it will ruin you along with everyone around. Your wife already knows you've had a problem in the past. It's highly likely she knows something is wrong now. Tell her what it is. Honesty and transparency are cornerstones of recovery. Making yourself accountable to someone else makes it very much harder for you to gamble in the secrecy the addiction thrives on.
Hi simply dan , sounds like your in pretty deep unfortunately your story isn’t the first and it certainly wont be the last
The good news is that you’ve recgonised you have an issue with gambling and therefore are on the first step to recovery
The bad news is , there is no easy route out of this…..i find a lot of recovering addicts on this site like to kid themselves into believing that shifting a couple of debts around and cutting a few luxuries out every month and they will be sorted
this is bull ……the reality is you are in for a gruelling and stressful couple of years
When I finally stopped I found the aftermath to be more far more exhausting than when I was betting £150 a night in the casino it strains your relationships , your mental state your work life , your physical health everything
I ended my casino career with around 10 grands worth of debt around 2015
It’s taken my nearly 3 years to sort myself out and get myself back to a happy mental state and Ive still got around 2 thousand of that debt to pay although at this stage its not really keeping my awake at night
Ive had 3 or 4 “episodes” in the last few years where something in life has stressed me out too far and ive turned back to the tables in despair but thankfully have managed to keep my head and leave
This is another factor you must be aware of in recovery … There are going to be days where to see no other option other than to turn back to gambling so its important to have the correct safeguards in place
Make sure your partner / family & friends know everything as your going to need all the help you can get
As I said if you really are determined to stop then there’s some tough years ahead but it will be worth it in the end …..
Keep it going, all the best
Mike
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