hi all,
i am a 24 year old who has just finally admitted that i have a gambling problem and i just want to speak maybe to a few people who r in or have been in the same kind of situation as me and how to go about it etc and gain back trust
i started gambling when i was 18 and it was just on the football at weekends, etc then after a couple of years when i was 21 i got a job in a bookies, since then my problem has gradually got worse, not so much money ways to start with, just in ways of having more bets etc. then last year in may time i realised i had a serious problem when my partner found out id been betting a lot and that i had been hiding it from her and lying about the situation. after speaking with her and explaining she took control of all my finances and made me prove what money had been spent and where, which is the help i needed and thought ok this is fine, well how wrong was i because i didnt self exclude from shops etc that about 6 months later when i was getting money spare etc, i started betting again.
this gradually become more and more of a habit with me asking a friend to help me when i wanted a bet and he did, down to the fact of me speniding money and then him covering it out of his pocket. eventually a couple of days ago, i got causght in the bookies by my partners niece and that was when i realised that my problem had come back and had got out of control. after a few tough conversations with my partner, friends and relatives, my partner told me she needs time etc to get her head around me hurting her again and lying to her after promising before that i wouldnt do this again. i then went into every bookies in my local town centre and self excluded from all of the shops and surrounding ones, and am now in the process of getting the specialist and required help i need.
I told my partner on Monday about my gambling problem and the money aside, the main issue she is having is feeling betrayed and not trusting me. I am doing all I can to prove I won't gamble again: self exclusion, blocking gambling sites on my phone and lap top, letting her have my bank/credit cards and the option of looking at my monthly statements from now. That's all I can think of for now but I think the main thing is time and proving that you haven't gambled, trust can only be built by showing to someone that they have no reason to doubt you.
Thank you so much that is exactly the situation she is in she understands my problem but it is the lie and hurt ive caused her that hurts the most thank you
Hy pyney10 andK7N
I am a recovering CG.
Good posts by both of you. It sounds like both of you have started off in the right direction.
Your willingness to allow your partner to freely access any accounts you have is vital, as is turning over control of your finances. Limit your access to money as much as possible.
Personally, I don't put much faith in self-exclusion as if you want to gamble, you will find somewhere to do so. It does help in limiting your gambling options, but there are just too many avenues available in this day and age.
Both of you will have to WANT to stop gambling if you are going to achieve your goal. Counselling and/or GA meetings are your best options.
Be totally honest with your partners. Any debts that you have should be brought into the open now.
Best wishes
Thank you wal I appreciate that advice so much it is so hard to explain a problem etc
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