So,
I've been a problem gambler for a long time. Many years. The more money I had, the more it goes.
i thought I had managed to crack this a couple of months ago, when my wife found out the extend of my gambling, and we agreed everything would stop. And it did for a couple of months, and I was so proud of coping and managing, but didn't put any coping mechanisms in place. Sure enough, sooner, rather than later, it crept back in onine and it was a horrible dirty secret. I just had to talk to my wife, but I was ashamed and scared.
I've managed, though only when pushed hard, to confess up to the situation tonight. I'm terrified she is going to leave me, she's so angry, and rightly so. i know I can and will beat this, for her, for us.
I've closed everything down, and self-excluded as much as I can find from the resources on this site.
But it's clear I can't manage without a set of coping mechanisms. It's a shameful thing, that makes it difficult for me to reach out for support and help, but just the action of reaching out will help. So many times after a bad loss I've sworn never again, but will power alone is clearly not enough. Even with clear thoughts of how much this will hurt the ones I love, sometimes it's like a disease that takes over.
I'm not a great people person at the best of times, never mind with embarassing shameful things like this. Still perhaps online I will find some advice and coping mechanisms. There will be times of temptation, and I want to be able to know how help myself and be able to say no to this addiction.
Maybe a blog, of my thoughts each day might not be a bad start - has that worked for anyone? Got to work on openess and transparency.
Flopsy42
Hi flopsy put some real blocks in place. Hand over finance to your wife if she is willing. Download blocking software and sign up to Gamstop. Willpower alone is really difficult and not very effective. Keep busy.
My wife has agreed to look after the finances, and she's strong and supportive. But she's also really hurt, and I worry about the harm I've done to her.
Phoned up a help line to have a chat with an advisor, with some good suggestions around self exclusion.
Although I have / had serious doubts about the effectiveness of blocking software, if was clear from the call that the link between my phone and this addiction/illness is very strong, which I guess I knew all along, but somehow hid from. So perhaps it will be an effective speed bump; does anyone have any up to date recommendations for iOS?
And yes, the importance of keeping busy too.
Lots to plan, lots to do; but at least the clock is ticking in a positive direction.
getting into fitness, especially running & dancing really helped me ! it brought back the feel good factor in my life, which i had lost with the gambling. all the best mate
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