Finally seeing some changes

Hi Will, welcome to the forum 🙂

I’m just trying to navigate your blog & came across something that really jumped out: “I think that my tendency to get really down at times is probably related to my compulsive gambling.”

I’ve been around the site & GA for long enough to urge you to explore this...It most certainly will be. Putting what I know about addiction aside, your story shows so clearly that you only gamble when life starts getting a bit uncomfortable for you!

You are quick out of the blocks for someone who has only been in recovery a short while & this, along with your young age will hopefully stand you in very good stead to get your addiction under control ASAP. I understand you trying to break down the addict/compulsive gambler but I would simplify it further & just say compulsive gambling is a subset of addiction. I’m not entirely sure where you have heard that ‘we’ can go back & gamble responsibly again because I’m yet to see any proof & you really need to kiss that idea goodbye if you ever want to get rid of your urges. They too differ from person to person & I know people with many years of recovery that still have them as well as people who have broken out after years of being clean. Personally since I accepted I could never gamble again, any fleeting thoughts of it pass so quickly I wouldn’t credit them with being actual urges.

I know you mentioned getting to GA & I really hope you do this sooner rather than later...There is a huge crossover in what you have already written/learned & GA would give this sustenance.

Congratulations on your journey so far, keep @ it - ODAAT

Hey ODAAT,

Yeah I have definitely noticed a correlation between gambling and getting depressed, but to me the question is which one causes the other? Or perhaps it isnt that simple.

Thanks for taking a look though:)

I had to edit the post coz the cut & paste was white so couldn’t see where to type...Have fleshed out the bones now 😉

People medicate with addiction so the ‘depression’ comes 1st, even though it may not be identifiable as depression until our addiction(s) highlight it. Use this thirst you clearly have to educate yourself...Even with your open mind, I guarantee, you will find out things that make you put your hands over your mouth & declare “o*g, that’s me!”

Thanks again for your response mate, for some reason I could only see the first paragraph of your response hence my brief initial response.

I totally agree with you about not being able to go back and gamble responsibly. Perhaps I wrote that section poorly, I only meant to pose the question as I had heard a couple of people say they were able to do it. It's not a risk I would take for myself though.

That last part where you say I'll read something and say "o*g that's me" could not be more spot on! From learning about other people's recovery I've said that many times, and I find it to be a very helpful thing when you understand that there are many people experiencing the same issues.

And to me that was kind of the point of starting the blog. In no way do I profess to be an expert on the matter or think that there is anything about my story that is particularly unique. But I thought to myself, someone else may read this and think "that describes everything I've being going through" and hopefully it may provide some level of help, or comfort to them. There are many problem gamblers out there and I think we can be of a lot of help to each other. I'd really love if someone else would be willing to share their story and allow me to post it on there as I kind of thought about it as a community effort rather than just a collection of my own ramblings.

I can’t reply to your blog posts...Too old & ancient to be able to figure out how to set up a new account, even if I wanted to which I don’t because I already have too many :-0

Hey Odaat, yes this is the very reason I haven't posted it on there. Which is a real shame because i see it two ways.

1) If you do it properly as I have done, there is literally no casinos that you can gamble at online. I know for a fact that I am 100% self excluded online now I dont even bother looking for somewhere new because I know it doesn't exist.

but...

2) as you say, to a compulsive gambler this could just be a treasure trove of more obscure casinos they may otherwise struggle to find. It's a real shame.

In regards to the blog, you should just be able to hit comment under the individual posts I'm pretty sure that you don't need to be signed in to anything to do it! Thanks for taking a look all the same though, actually currently writing something for it now

Hi ya, don’t want to hijack the other thread & you don’t have a diary so decided this was the best place...

Not so much now but absolutely, keeping busy on this forum is what ‘saved me’! I have to just clarify what you say about us being a community because as much as I agree with you, I just wanted to make sure you were referring to addicts rather than this site because sometimes I doubt how many people on here truly do get it. This site goes through phases, when I arrived here, we spent a lot of time making friends, laughing & joking about, high fiving each other, doing the odd bit of GA bashing & generally feeling the love & doing things our way...It took a lot of time & persistence for some of the older members to get through to us that we weren’t ever going to be cured. You don’t get that false hope in a GA room...Don’t get me wrong, people are incredibly supportive but no-one ever says, “there, there just carry on sticking your head in the sand & it will all be ok.” We’re all full of the same sort of stories, the dog ate my homework doesn’t wash among friends & although the GA book disproves of bad language, there are no censors in the rooms & you hear things how they are felt. Recovery is learned from each other & by supporting & helping one another we are helping ourselves...The trick is, as has been mentioned, keep the focus on ourselves though. Spending time trying to fix others is nothing more than a distraction to resolving our own issues & I quote “Realise how hard it is to change yourself & you'll understand what little chance you have to change others!”

The serenity prayer has been a great piece of kit for me (when I remember to use it) & as I move forwards, I try to keep my energies for things within my control instead of constantly taking on other people’s battles - ODAAT

Yeah I agree we should definitely focus on ourselves. I do think it's important and helpful to give support to others but be realistic about it and not just say things to make people feel better. There has to be a real drive from within to want to change, that's something I've only recently come to fully appreciate.

But yeah I'm referring to addicts in general whether it be through here or any other support network.

your blog is great and well done for starting it .

I’m a bit concerned as to why gamcare keep removing links to blogs. Blogs are usually a gold mine for addicts looking for initial help. What is the reason they gave you for removing the link?

Well thanks a lot gem that's very kind of you!

I did have some problems joining up here. When I would make this post and include it as a proper click link I think the system just thought it was spam which is fair enough.

I did get some clarification in an Email though. Basically I think they're happy for you to link your blog as long as they think it's positive for cg's and they you contain the links to your own threads and don't spam it on all your messages on other people's posts, which is fair enough really.

I haven't made mention of it other than here and on my profile as i didn't join up here looking to increase traffic but rather just to engage with others.

It has been a great help to me though to be able to centralise my thoughts there and it feels good when people have a look and engage!

I'm not sure about you but I find all these different ways of communicating often online about my problem to be extremely therapeutic and has been helping to keep me on the wagon 🙂