Hi guys, My name is Anton. I havent placed a bet since 13th November 2013. My last bet actually won but something changed in me that day. Itwas a snooker match invloving Mark Willams. I won money but inside i didnt actually care if i won or lost anymore. I was only gambling to feel something.
On that date i decided i didnt want to do this anymore. Gamcare helped with that. I registered my name and got banned from all bookmakers plus making any new applications. It was hard at first, i was lucky i didnt actually visit high street bookmakers. Those places still make me cringe. But as the days and weeks past i found the fog had lifted and guys i swear to God when you dont gamble you actually give yourself a payrise.
I was over £3500 in debt. I found an American guy called Dave Ramsey andi worked his plan. I started paying off my debt going from the smallest debt to the largest. It took me 2 years but it was well worth it.
Gambling does really destroy relationships. It fractured a lot of mine. Family will always forgive. Wifes or girlfriend however wont. Gambling cost me the love of my life. I went from living in a 3 bedroom house to a small one-bedroom flat. There is never a day that goes by where i don't think about her but i have also accepted if the show was on the foot i would have done the exact shame.
So my point here is gamblers are selfish. Thinking they are gonna get rich. Well ive got news for you. It ain't. So say you did win a big amount. Then what?? you know its inevitable you are gonna give it all back again over time.
For me, I decided to go to therapy. I wanted to know why I was vulnerable to all of this. I don't drink, i don't smoke, i don't look at P*********y, i don't play computer, and i don't do drugs. So why Gambling???
In my head for years I wanted people to love me and the way people like or love people in this society is if you have money. Delusional????? I think so too.
I thot gambling and having money brought me status. It didnt. It just made people think i was an idiot. My sister used to be highly embarrassed at what i was saying.
Once you know the why then gambling won't be an issue any longer. you still have to work hard and follow the 12steps and make sure you attend meetings at least once a month.
When I go. i don't preach but i always say try and find out the why. Gambling isn't the problem its the symptom of what's really going on. You have to address that first.
Then find out your passion. everyone has something they love. It could be animals so volunteer if you can. Join a club. read an interesting book.
Myself, i paint abstract art, write songs on accoustic guitar and i play snooker and darts.
Before long gambling will become a distant memory and youll be truly living again.
If this post helps even one person ill be extremely happy.
You can do this guys.
Hi Anton,
Thank you for your post on our forum, sharing your experience and harm from gambling. It sounds as though you have come a very long way and made some necessary changes to your life. It can be inspirational for others to read about how others have managed to come through such a difficult time. It is positive to point out about finding a 'passion' and filling time, this is a very important aspect in recovery and sometimes gets overlooked.
Look after yourself,
Best wishes, Fiona
Form Admin
Well done you.. Yes life has lots to offer. Gambling is time and money wasting and actually very boring after the initial what we thought was thrill.. You stay in that good place. Thank you
Thank you for your post , that date would have been my 49th bday . Would be interested to learn more about Dave Ramsey and his plan . Was always to believe you pay pro rata [ the highest debt gets the biggest slice of any lump sum you can raise , based on a percentage , playing one ore more companies off against each other .
I personally gambled because i never understood the value of money never had any until i was 21 then an absolute fortune a week all blown . then struggled really for the last 20 years . but it still all went . i start my treatment on Tues . i will post what i learn it may trigger some reasoning , and help assist others .
Hi all
Well I am now fairly clear why I gambled and it runs deep into who I actually am.
Thats the level to which you have to be honest with yourself.
I have always been a depressive some would say manic as I have had deep lows as far back as I can remember. I cover my insecurities and fears with a false vanity which more often then not leaves me alone.
I was shy but not really shy if you know what I mean...I hid because I felt inadequate in mind body and soul...I didnt like my body image for a start. Im not scared to admit these things now
I cant choose relationships because commitment and wearing my heart on my sleeve scares me. I have trouble making friends because I dont really want to make them. I dont know what friends want from me half the time Ive been bullied and hurt in the past and I have never really liked the way life is going. This makes me a depressive and sometimes angry with life. They sure wouldnt bully me now but I cant rewind time so that made me depressed and I would often escape my headspace by gambling
I think I was probably happy in my own world playing with my matchbox cars...then someone said youve got to go to school/be around more people and it was all downhill from there.
I have never been truly in love and my relationships have been lazy half hearted ones that were bound to go wrong. I felt nobody wanted me but its actually more down to a protective vanity keeping me distant.
My work has always been rubbish because Ive drifted into everything..as a young man they lied to me about there being a career...obviously they would as I was a naive school leaver and its taken me decades too long to mature to it all
Therefore I was always prone to addictions to help me escape from life and give me false euphoric feelings...like an out of body experience really. I always knew gambling was naughty but It made me feel alive in a way that I had not experienced before. Ive also been a shopaholic and spender of huge sums of borrowed money to try and get some kick. At one point I was spending 1K per day!
Its interesting that drugs and alcohol didnt take hold...that just wasnt my thing for some reason.
SooooooI feel its about analysing yourself and facing the truth. Gambling was never the answer to my truths...it was simply an escape drug from tham
Its not just about being bored and replacing gambling with a passion.I feel it runs very deep indeed and we all need to find out who we really are and move on from there
Best wishes to everyone on the forum
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