First Post- Advice needed.

Dear RGMatt,

I am sorry to hear how much you have been affected by your gambling. Thank you for sharing your experiences on the Forum. As you mentioned group support may not be the most appropriate for you, I would encourage you to get in touch with us on Helpline by calling 0808 8020 133 or via live chat and we can explore various support options with you, from effetive self-exclusion to referral for further, longer term one to one support. Also, taking into account how gambling has been affecting you mentally, we would like to support you with your struggles in this aspect as well.

We are here whenever you need us, 24/7.

Best wishes,

Forum Admin,

Klaudia

Hi

When I walked in to the recovery program I did not understand how inept inadequate and insecure I felt with in myself.

For me the recovery program helped me understand I needed toheal the pains of my hurt inner child.

For me the recovery program helped me reduce my fears.

My addictions and my obsessions were a way of me escaping emotionally.

To understand each time I gambled I simply made things and situations much worse.

How much do I value my self and my life today.

How much do I want a healthy life today.

No matter when my last bet it was very important for me to keep attending the meetings.

To understand what my last emotional trigger was.

Do I want to keep hurting mysef and causing my self more and more pains.

The addictions and obsessions were just the symptoms.

How much do I want a healthy life today.

The money was just the fuel for my addiction.

The money was never going to resolve my emotional triggers.

I could not trust my self with money.

Eventually I handed it over to another person made  it easier for me.

I felt like a little child being punished, but that was only my perspective.

In time I would idenify my emotional triggers.

Pains I could not heal.

Fears I could not face.

Frustrations due to my unreasonable expectations of people life and situation.

Loneliness and boredom.

In time Iwould understand a healthy life is about balance not obsession.

Each time I went back to gambling was a lesson for me to learn from.

No matter when my last bet was it was very important to keep attending meetings.

Yes the meetings raise more questions than answers.

Yet once I got more honest with my self then my fears were reducing.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave Of Beckenham UK

Posted by: @rgmatt

Hello there, I’m Matt. Apologies if this is a ramble but I’m just going to go for it…

Struggled with gambling now for a good couple of years, and it’s completely and utterly mentally destroyed me. What started off as some small football acca bets when I was 18, turned into an obsession with slot machines and spiralling into an addiction that I didn’t think was possible. 

I self excluded via gamstop a year ago when I hit rock bottom, banned one of my cards, from making gambling transactions, I even had the app on your phone that blocks you from even being able to view gambling (Gamban) but I still found ways around gambling and when the urges hit me, and I couldn’t hold them any longer, I had two massive relapses, the latter only happened last night. What frustrates me is how on earth am I meant to try and move on from this when gambling is everywhere, adverts on the radio at work, all over social media, you can’t even watch a game of football on the TV without being hit with advert after advert, advertising gambling, why are they allowed to do this? Fair enough I can personally try and prevent myself from gambling, but it’s a lot harder when it’s constantly in my face, simply by switching the TV on. 

I’m writing this post, because I’m completely lost, completely mentally destroyed by gambling, I don’t understand why I allow myself to destroy myself and keep going back to something I know is going to do nothing but hurt me, I’ve lost over £12,000 to this addiction, and I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t make me want to end everything. It’s not like I even have to take something for this addiction, it’s always just there, in my brain, nagging away at me. 

Regarding getting help there is one massive problem, I don’t know a lot about GA, but I have a social anxiety disorder so I don’t even know how I’d step through the door for something like that, I’d be an absolute nervous wreck. 

 

Thanks for reading, this is literally my first post here, so my apologies if anything I’ve said triggers anyone, it’s not my intention, I’m just putting my thoughts out. 

Hi Matt.  Thank you for sharing your story . I’ve just found out that my son has just relapsed again! This will be about fourth time now.  He bets thousands of pounds in a short length of time .  He has lasted over 12 months in one spell only to start again losing thousands.  
He is always absolutely devastated when he’s done it and then promises he won’t do it again.  Has had help online and had Gamstop on his phone .   He just doesn’t know why he keeps doing it.  He has a lovely house, decent job, lovely partner and a 21 month old little girl. 
He is now going to see a Counsellor and attend GA to see if this can help to try and understand why he keeps relapsing. He is like you though and a little socially anxious but I’ve offered to go with him.   He is going to lose absolutely everything if he relapsed again as his partner has said she can’t live with him like he is losing so much money and putting them into debt .  
I wish you well with your recovery 

Hi Matt, how's it been this past week?

A lot of what you wrote resonated personally. I too feel limited in the support I can access due to social anxiety.

Have gambled on and off for many years, particularly problematic with football betting. Recent relapse led to significant losses and lack of interest in engaging with anyone. It's so draining that you just don't have anything left in the tank after a binge.

A few weeks ago I contacted GamCare and was referred to counselling. Have a first telephone appointment tomorrow. Would have preferred face to face but giving it a go. Also attended the GamCare online chat room this evening, which was a really helpful experiences. Was amongst people who know and didn't feel judged at all. Haven't gambled for 3 days. Whether these moves will result in long-term progress, who knows? But they are a step in the right direction