Gambling has me beaten

Hi Viking gal the best things to do is to surrender. You can't win, gambling isn't a method of income. Hand over finances to your husband give him your hard earned cash. Keep busy, learn something new, read, walk, get off the gadgets. Get help. Go to GA, call gamcare get some counselling. Just get through today. Gambling is a choice and once you start it's very difficult to stop, especially if you don't get support. Join the challenge on 'overcoming gambling 'section.

Vikinggal wrote:

Hi

35 year old been gambling ever since my granny introduced me to the puggies at the caravan. Spent over 150k or more online, scratchcards, bingo, bookies machines anything that got my adrenlaine going or helped me to escape! Gambling has ruined my life, relationships, my self worth, my finances, remortgaged house then back into debt again. It is the demon on my shoulder and very convincing

one. I have looked at this website online for over two years and read many stories i can sadly relate to. I relate to the shame, guilt, anguish, sadness, depression and yet i let this so called ilness back into life aftermany periods of abstinence. My husband has sadly been experincing this rollecoaster with me and he has put up with a lot of pain living with a compulsive gambler. He amazingly has stuck by me and I owe it to mysef my family and him to recover. I have applied for gamstop, registered gamban on phone, banned mysef from some places. I do have a lot more work to do and if im brutally honest in terrified that i will one day gamble again because i am weak where i let the disease convince me that i can gamble normally again. This will never ever happen! I am sick to death of giving my hard earned wages to gambling conpanies that pocket this its disgusting and i have to remind myself of this!!!. My debt at the moment is killing me and that has veen the driver in my relapse and i need to find ways to think of thr debt diffently i am struggling any tips please?

Start a recovery diary in this forum, it's just below this new members board. Any time you want to you just log in and post up your feelings and you'll get support and help. If you get the urge to gamble, log in here and post up your urge thoughts. I found it helped get them out of my mind when I posted mine up. A bit like writing some thoughts on a bit of paper, then burning the paper, if you know what I'm talking about.

Thanks for the advice

I have now got myself an appointment via gamcare to see counsellor although I’m nervous but I know it’s time to face this head on and find out about my triggers and reasons behind this, I am still really anxious about payday and getting my head conned but I’m going to restrict myself financially and pay debt off. Still angry at myself but need to focus on the positives that I have stopped. will start a recovery diary.... feel the fog is lifting a little you guys probably know what I mean but still guilt and the pit feeling in my stomach when I look back and actually alcnlowlwdge the damage I did, I actually feel during that time I went insane or I’m a different person I just don’t recognise myself when I am in the circle of gambling, least I am getting aware of my actions a bit more clearly.

Day 7

Walked into a well known amusements where I gambled thousands and told them I had a gambling problem. My legs were like jelly and I kept waiting outside and thinking should I go in or how can I tell them I have a problem. I spoke briefly to my husband and he told me to have courage, I don’t know who I asked but I actually prayed for courage even though it’s something I wouldn’t do, I walked in told ladies behind the office in private just said I have a problem a serious gambling problem and I can’t come in here anymore can you help me. She gave me a cuddle which I did not expect and said you are brave and you have done the right thing. She said people come in all the time and because of her job she has to stand by and watch thousands put all their money into the machines and she can’t do anything, they themselves have to admit they have a problem and then she can help. I am so glad and relived I did this and it’s helping me toward my recovery. I phoned my husband and told him I did it and burst into tears felt emotional and c**P and all over place but I’m coming to terms with admitting I have a problem now. Wee steps will turn into big steps hopefully and then milestones

Just wanted to say well done Vikinggal for taking that step to walk in to the amusements and ask to be excluded. I hear how difficult it was for you and I hope you feel better for having done it.

Best wishes

Deirdre
Forum Admin

Good evening . Well done on taking the first proper steps . It’s emotional because as a gambler you still think you can win and although you tell yourself so many times it’s the last time, it very rarely is . The action you have taken is a great start . As others suggested you can put many blocks in place but I find the secret is to become a non gambler , not a gambler who just doesn’t have access to gamble . There will be times where you find yourself in situations you didn’t expect where you could gamble so be prepared for this . I will use an example of a motorway service station or a holiday resort . Many people here say that having no access to money is the key and closing the accounts down . I would agree with that it helps short term , but as I just stated there will be situations you can gamble if you really want to . Be honest with your partner about how you are feeling . Find other things to do with your time . After one payday or two your money builds quickly and you can start to enjoy life like normal people . Make purchases , indulge yourself a little . Buy nice clothes , feel better about yourself . To become that non gambler things like this make you realise that you can have a proper life very quickly . Think about what you spend now on yourself . Probably very little because gambling takes the majority . You will be much happier with everything once the dust has settled and you can get into a new routine . For me it was a normal habit to gamble. Now it’s a normal habit not to gamble . Good luck and if you ever need any advice please post on my diary (which you should start yourself it’s very cathartic )

Hi all

Started counselling via gamcare, totally nervous but was made to feel at ease and did face to face contact, finally facing up to my demons and understand my triggers more. Do I want a better life yes! Do I want to live like this no! 18 days and starting to feel a bit better although I have been eating more and not sure if anyone else experience this wonder if I’m doing this instead of gambling or maybe over thinking it?? I’m sure the counselling will help me identity this pattern, get paid soon feel a bit anxious, but hopeful,. Offered new job maybe things are turning on the positive note and the only way is up and forward

Hey Vikinggal,

Congrats on joining this wonderful site and coming to terms with the fact that you have a problem! It sounds like you are taking all the right steps. (: I too have eaten a LOT more since I stopped gambling, I’m sure that it has something to do with it, but within the next few days, me and my husband are going to start eating healthier and I’m going to be his gym partner too, which will hopefully help me even more to not gamble. (: Maybe you could try joining a gym or finding a new hobby to focus on instead of gambling! Good luck, keep it up!