Giving up today

Hi DRW85,

I am not a gambler but the mother of a son that does.

I have only recently joined this forum, but it has even helped me to have people that I can connect with and get advice from. I don't know what the current situation is with my son, other than we have just helped him out for the last time. It was kind of against the advice of everyone on this website, but it was something we had already agreed to do.

The thing that strikes me is the sums of money that people are talking about. Even the sums that you have mentioned. But it is great that you starting from now. I have to say the thing that struck me, was that you have a professional job, and are able to take out a loan to sort things out. Immediately my thought is that this gives you an opportunity to borrow more to gamble again, but at some point hopefully something clicks in a gambler's brain and they reach a point where they want things to change. Good luck with everything and keep in touch with everyone on here, I think that is a great help.

Hi DRW85,

We have exactly the same case. Gambling, not in financial trouble yet, small dept, trying to stop forever only with will power. Totally doable and I can not see any reason why not. Last time I gamble was 23/DEC/2016 and I have not done it since then. I do not have any urge and I don't think I will have any trouble quitting it

I think this site is ok to confess that the gambling got out of control especially if no one else knows about your problem. The bad thing about this site I found that some members are over-dramatic: talk to your parents, call helpline, talk to your friends, put blocks, download software....otherwise you can not stop it....

I found that BS. Gambling it is an addiction, but it is not the end of the world. Of course I can stop gamble without those blocks or whatever they call them.

And one more thing: Read other people stories, they will scare the **** out of you. Next time you wanna gamble, the urge will disappear immediately.

So good luck, I will follow you progress, do not give up and write here how is it going.

Hi Drw

Welcome to the website. I'm in the same situation as you. A small amount of debt that I will be able to clear this year if I don't gamble. I agree with the post above in as much as will power is the best weapon you have to beat the addiction. Yet, all the other things mentioned blocks/helpline/friends and family are also important. I didn't gamble for a good couple of years, I let my guard down and if I had the correct blocks in place and talked to the right friends who knew about my addiction, I wouldn't be in this situation again. Yes it's down to will power but we all have slips and weak moments that's when it's great to have saftey nets.

All the best in your recovery

I'm quite surprised that some are finding the advice here overdramatic. Members here have seen, experienced and shared where an unaddressed addiction can lead. If willpower alone was enough to deal with it this site would be redundant.

Thank you for the responses. At the moment I believe I am not 'completely addicted' to gambling. The main reason I gamble is due to boredom. Often in the evenings I'm sat doing nothing. To make that time more interesting I then start to bet on whatever live sports events might be on. But if I lose that's when I start to place bigger bets. I know it may seem silly to say but I have never won big on a bet so I don't really think it is chasing the big win that motivates me. But it's the guilt of wasting that money which then makes me want to chase it back.

On that basis I'm hoping that if I don't put the initial bet on then I can stay away.

But maybe I am in denial and I might realise now I'm trying to stop that I am completely addicted.

As I say my intention is to post everyday that I have not placed any bets.

I really do value the support. I would be happy to keep in regular contact with individuals in a similar position.

I am determined to stop and today is the day it stops

Drw

A £1600 loss in one day along with £8K in debt indicates a problem. Even if that elusive big win were to land (not going to happen. Check the stats) it would be back with the bookies in a matter of days if not hours because that's the way the addiction works. That said you are entirely right in saying the first bet is the one to avoid. Get blocks into place so you can't make it on impulse and then take a look into GA and counselling (Gamcare offer a free service) to identify and address what's driving the compulsion. It's completely possible to stop and stay stopped. It's a case of wanting to make that happen enough to do all it takes.

stopimmid wrote:

Hi DRW85,

We have exactly the same case. Gambling, not in financial trouble yet, small dept, trying to stop forever only with will power. Totally doable and I can not see any reason why not. Last time I gamble was 23/DEC/2016 and I have not done it since then. I do not have any urge and I don't think I will have any trouble quitting it

I think this site is ok to confess that the gambling got out of control especially if no one else knows about your problem. The bad thing about this site I found that some members are over-dramatic: talk to your parents, call helpline, talk to your friends, put blocks, download software....otherwise you can not stop it....

I found that BS. Gambling it is an addiction, but it is not the end of the world. Of course I can stop gamble without those blocks or whatever they call them.

And one more thing: Read other people stories, they will scare the **** out of you. Next time you wanna gamble, the urge will disappear immediately.

So good luck, I will follow you progress, do not give up and write here how is it going.

Seems strange you would have a diary with the title I need your guy's help and hopefully I can do it. Then slate every bit of advice you were given.

Hope means nothing without commitment

I'm not an advocate of blocks either but I give it out in the hope that some people might find them useful.
And most people do

Im not going to discount any of the suggestions made. I haven't put blocking software on my computer but I have excluded myself from every account I had. I have only ever gambled online. Going into a bookies has never appealed to me. In some ways i would have lost a lot less if I had been betting with cash in my hand, when it's online it doesn't feel like real money until you see the bank balance.

As for what motivates it I really think it does come down to boredom. But in terms of what I have lost I do consider £8k to be a huge amount which I could have used for so much more in my life. But I have now got a plan in place to manage that debt. Even though I am fortunate to have a professional job this has partly worsened the problem as I have had more disposable income to gamble with. But I now realise I can't stick to a gambling budget as I always want to chase the losses.

I feel empowered to say I finally admit my gambling is out of control. Its now down to me to put it right and look forward to non gambling activities going forwards.

Dean0 and Lethe. I'm sorry if you find my post about "over dramatic" being rude, but I think that "senior members" of this forum deal with each case same: put blocks, call helpline, tell your close friends, get a concealing.

Hope it works out for you stopimmid...you are lucky not to have urges. I must admit I haven't looked at your details...how you gamble and your current losses; good for you if you are choosing to stop at a point where gambling has just been a bit of fun, and you have had enough of losing. For many on here, gambling has masked underlying problems, that need to be addressed through counselling; for many it is opening up to a loved one, handing over financial control, that helps them conquer their demons...and one of those demons is living with the lies and shame that being a compulsive gambler brings. You are fortunate if you have not reached those depths. It is not only 'senior members' of the forum that advocate openness, honesty and blocks...many newer members, myself included, have found this to be a way forward. As you rightly say, there is not just one way forward...so we must all show respect and support for others, on the path that they choose to leave gambling behind.

Rhoda wrote:

Hope it works out for you stopimmid...you are lucky not to have urges. I must admit I haven't looked at your details...how you gamble and your current losses; good for you if you are choosing to stop at a point where gambling has just been a bit of fun, and you have had enough of losing. For many on here, gambling has masked underlying problems, that need to be addressed through counselling; for many it is opening up to a loved one, handing over financial control, that helps them conquer their demons...and one of those demons is living with the lies and shame that being a compulsive gambler brings. You are fortunate if you have not reached those depths. It is not only 'senior members' of the forum that advocate openness, honesty and blocks...many newer members, myself included, have found this to be a way forward. As you rightly say, there is not just one way forward...so we must all show respect and support for others, on the path that they choose to leave gambling behind.

Totally agree Rhoda.

M x

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Hi Drw

Good to see you're keeping an open mind on options. SE'ing from your accounts is a good step - push to make it permanent. They may not show that they offer it as an option but some at least will if you tell them but alongside that be prepared for some convenient database 'malfunctions' which mean they may send offers and enticements by email or even post once they realise you're no longer lining their pockets.

The other point is that SE only goes so far when there are so many sites out there. Installing a blocker now means you can't sign up should the urge strike. If you haven't got anyone who can set a password for you use a random combination of letters and numbers you won't remember.

The loss yesterday has left me with a stomach churning feeling today but still feeling positive about taking control back to stop gambling.I think blocking software might be useful as I have excluded before and then found new sites. Is anybody aware of software that works for iPad and iPhone as that is what I use normally. Ideally I don't want to block anything and everything online it's simply just gambling sites that I want to block.