Hi all
I recently made one of the biggest mistakes in my life and lost just over £21,000 in the matter of continuous 8 hour betting on blackjack.
I was chasing and chasing a small loss, and before i knew it, it was 4am and I had exactly £0.93 left in the bank.
I was physically sick and I didn't know what to do, and couldnt comprehend why i would do such a thing.
I made my second biggest mistake of my life that night as well, and attempted to take my own life because of it. Luckily, my housemate found me and took me to hospital and I'm still here.
It's been a month since this incident, and I still feel physically sick by what i did. However, i still have the urges every day to gamble, albeit a lot lesser amounts (ВЈ10/ £20 a day on scratch cards).
Yesterday, i took a hard look at my life and what i have done and accepted i have a problem. It has been 2 days since i have gambled and I'm hoping this will be continuous.
I have joined this site in the hope to find a support network which will keep the positivity of not gambling going, and would like to offer my help of i can to be a support to others.
Gambling is one of the scariest addictions as it can come out of no where and can ruin your life in a matter of minutes, or can take a lifelong affect of people.
It's been good to write this out and admit i have a problem. I hope tomorrow brings another gamble-free day for me, and all of you.
All the best
AJ
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Now Keep up your spirits AJ, I am also new to this forum and like yourself I have started 2017 in a bad way, I have a partner in crime when it comes to online gambling - my Wife and partner of 30 years, it all started about 8 years ago when I opened her credit card statement to find she had clocked up many thousands of pounds and was making the minimum monthly payments, paid off the balance from savings and she promised not to revisit the sites, as you can guess this did not happen, I convinced her that we should visit our local casino with real notes, as you can guess we won on the slots. Now 8 years on and after blowing thousands and thousands we are rock bottom and blew another £11000 yesterday, we are up to our necks in debt even though we both have good jobs, off to sell the car today and arrange more money from my pension pot, can't sleep, feeling worthless and ashamed, we are both total addicts now, I do feel a little better after writing on this forum, the problem is affecting every part of my life, sometimes I wish I would have a heart attack and die, at least my wife would be free of the debt, albeit the proceeds would soon be in Peter and Fred Dones bank. Sorry to ramble on I know the addiction can be beaten if we are strong.
Mikeyfish, the addiction can be beaten, if you want to beat it. Sit yourself down, create a plan how you are going to stop. You can block yourself at the casino, and use online blockers. You have to limit your access to cash, I stopped carrying cards and only have £30 in my purse...I won't go in a casino with £30 cos I know I would lose it straight off, and with no further cash available there would be no chance of getting that elusive bonus. You are not worthless. You can turn this around. Choose to stop now, before your pension pot disappears. There are great people on this site with a wealth of experience who will offer advice and support....post regularly...you can beat the gambling....don't let the casinos take any more from you.
Mikeyfish - i can honestly say that not being here and hoping you can end your life is not the answer. I can't imagine to understand how hard things are for you, but as Rhoda rightly says, you have to keep strong and tackle the problem sensibly.
It must be hard for both of you to seemingly have an addiction as there may not be any support you can have in your household - this is why i think this site is here so we can all offer support to each other 🙂
Allainepo thanks for your kind words - really meant a lot!
The suggestion Rhoda made is absolutely a great idea. I have self-excluded myself from all of the online betting sites that i am aware of. Having no way to access them is the 1st big and helpful step to not throwing away your hard earned money and pension.
Think of the future and not the here and now. Yes, we've all made monumental mistakes when it comes to losing money... but that's just it - it's only money. Your life cannot be compared to any monetary value!
Keep on here, keep talking, and keep being strong. We all have the strength inside us to beat our demons. As long as people understand what you're going through, and i think we can all relate to everyone's problems in some ways, we can all beat this together.
Love, light and strength to you all.
We are masters of our own destiny, and stronger than our vices!
AJ
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