Hello everyone,
I have an illness, or so i've come to realise very recently, within the last 10 minutes or so.
I'm in a dark place...Gambling has got me there. Over years i've backed,spun, rolled, got black out drunk and awoken with an empty bank balance. I don't enjoy it, i used to but not anymore. I owe £20,000's worth of debt to it.
Todays loss was £100
My wife is aware of my demons, just not the extent. I brought most of the debt to our relationship from my late teenage years, my losses have curbed in the past 5 years...not enough though.
If I put money on a horse i don't care weather it wins or loses anymore...I still do it though. One Christmas eve I lost £2600 in an hour. I'd had the best year of my life and then f****d it up on one of the best days of the year.
I don't care if I live or die, gambling has consumed me, taken my soul and crushed it.
All the debt is in my name, my wife will never suffer for my mistakes.
The time to make a change is now
They say you have to be so far in the dark to finally see the light, my time to see the light is now or never.
Tomorrow will be the first day on a new road, tomorrow will be day one.
Hi, I can relate to every word you wrote. In my case I've lost every thing I worked so hard for. Last estimate is 150k. All I have left
is my family. If you have them then grab on tight and lose them aswell
Hi sportsbetpunk and Mohammed,
Yep. I know how it feels and so do others on here. Family is so immensely important.
I can identify with putting the money down and being so mentally knackered that it you shovel it on regardless. You reach a point where it's all such a bl**dy mess that you are forced to seek help. This Forum is the starting point to a new life for many of us. I've set out below some some stuff you should find useful.
Contact gamcare for access to free counsellng and or attend your local GA meetings.
Should you be suffering from severe depression because of your situation then discuss this with your doctor.
Block online gambling sites by downloading K9 and have someone else set the P/word. They must keep it secret from you. If you cannot get someone to set it then make a nonsense one up and copy and paste it. Something like xx11pjjjn"!yn33$$ so it's impossible to remember if you view it.
You can also buy Gam-block or Betfilter to block sites if you wish.
If you cannot block a particular electronic device then sell, give it away or dump it and obtain an "old fashioned" type.
Self exclusion from casinos/High St bookmakers is advisable if you have been using them.
Put your finances in the hands of a trusted family member. This is so that you can only have a limited amount of money available to you to enable you to get through on a daily basis.
You should advise close members of your family about your problem and the fallout from it (debts)etc. Their emotional support could prove essential during your recovery. If you cannot tell your family you can go it alone. I have HAD TO DO THAT but I wouldn't recommend it for most people. I use the this site a lot and The 2015 Challenge is helping me tremendously (great work by Phil on that). Starting a Forum diary helps a lot of people.
If being a CG has really upset the applecart with your family they can contact GAM-ANON for advice. Their is a family and friends section on the FORUM.
If your financial state is disastrous then make sure that you keep a roof over your head. This is your priority. Make sure that payment arrangements are made for necessities (gas, electric, food, transport, childrens stuff etc). Unsecured creditors (cards etc are not a main priority). You may even have to offer them say £1 per month each and get the interest frozen. You do not have to tell them you have a gambling problem if you don't want, only that you are over committed. I WOULD STRONGLY SUGGEST THAT PEOPLE IN FINANCIAL DIFFICULTY SHOULD CONSULT A NON FEE CHARGING DEBT MANAGEMENT COMPANY FOR ADVICE ABOUT CREDITORS AND THE WAY FORWARD FINANCIALLY. I would suggest Stepchange/payplan/national debtline may offer advice.
I've found that keeping myself busy has been instrmental in keeping my mind from the devil's clutches. I find gym work helps me no end. i get myself so knackered that gambling is the last thing on my mind. Walking is great as well so is swimming. You can take up old or start new hobbies. There is a thread on the Forum devoted to keeping busy.
Hope some of this helps anyone that reads it.
Take Care Now.
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