Has anyone been to the Gordon Moody treatment centre?

@peter86

What exactly did you want to know about the treatment centre and have you tried GA before?

Could you expand on your gambling and the problems it has caused?

Chris.

@chris-uk

Hi Chris,

Thanks for the reply.

I suppose I really want to know what it is like generally, all i know is that its a 2 week trial sort of thing then 12 weeks course.

Are you allowed contact with your family? Do you stay over there at the weekends? How much of the day is filled with treatment? Is there any exercise facilities there? How many people are there at one time?

I have tried GA but don't think it works for me so well especially since it is online at the moment.

Gambling has completely destroyed my life. I was in a high paid job and would spend all my wages for the month the day I got them.

I've stolen from my family, my girlfriend done loads of fraudulent things to get money to gamble. I have lost hundreds of thousands in the last 3 years. got a £30k bonus from work one year which was gone in a week.

My family don't want to know me anymore (and we were really close), I've tried to kill myself twice (one of which very nearly succeeded) and my friends are deserting me.

Told so many lies you forget what's true and have severe depression. 

about £100k in debt if you include money I've stolen from family and (now ex) girlfriend and will have to go bankrupt.

Spent my brithday the other week in hospital having broken both legs while trying to hurt myself and didn't even get a message off my brother and sister. Currently in a aftercare centre for the elderly because I have nowhere else to go (I'm 34)

I have read lots of posts on here but I think my compulsion is worse than nearly everyone else's I have read...certainly the numbers involved.

On the positive side  I haven't gambled for 11 days but am scared what is round the corner.

I think I need very intensive treatment which I can then follow up with GA.

Hi @peter86,

Welcome to the forum. It's good to see that you're reaching out for support and advice, and thinking about how to make treatment work for you. 

I'm sorry to read that things have been so painful for you that you've tried to end your own life and have hurt yourself badly. 

It is really positive that you haven't gambled for 11 days and I understand being scared and apprehensive about what might come next, but there's lots of support available and you are not alone. We're always here for you to talk to and it's fantastic that you've applied for residential treatment with Gordon Moody. I will leave it to your fellow forum members to answer your questions about that based on their own experiences.

There are other organisations that can help with the difficult thoughts an emotions that you're going through. Here are a few you may find helpful:

CALM – The Campaign Against Living Miserably, movement against male suicide
www.thecalmzone.net   Helpline 5pm–midnight, 365 days a year
0800 58 58 58

SANEline 0300 304 7000        4.30pm – 10.30pm daily
www.sane.org.uk

Maytree – respite house for people when they’re feeling suicidal, the house is not open currently due to Covid-19, but they are providing phone support
www.maytree.org.uk   020 7263 7070

Samaritans (for anytime you need to talk about anything)
www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan    116 123        

I hope that you find the forum to be a helpful healing space for you in your recovery. Please continue posting because your experience helps others too!

All the best,

Elizabeth
Forum Admin

@peter86 Thank you for the information. I can definitely relate to what you've said. You feel like you the only one and no one understands or can possibly be at the level you are. 

I felt that was me although I always had GA to go back to. Once I started seeing the similarities between me and the other attendees, rather than the differences I started to see a massive improvement in my recovery. My downfall was thinking I was okay after a certain point and once I stopped attending I tended to relapse, bigger and worse than before.

I had one member actually say to me that she thought I was the worse compulsive gambler that she had ever met and that's stuck with me for some 15 years, but if she thought I was bad then that's nothing to the carnage the next few years brought!

When I dismiss the money below, obviously it is important, but how do you put a price on having to sit on a wall with your possessions in a cardboard box because you've been sacked after five years from your dream job while you wait for your wife to pick you up and your colleagues watch from inside the building?

How do you put a price on going to work knowing you have a meeting, knowing you have borrowed £25K from the safe that you're trying to get from a remortgage to repay it, your mind in such a state that you wear two different shoes, oh and then you get sacked? So many examples that don't have a price label on them!

The money isn't important in the scheme of things, your mind and feelings are so much more important. If you need to go bankrupt do it. If it gets a worry out the way then so be it.

It's help with your mind that needs sorting. Putting gambling down will help and it takes about 90 days to get a clear head and some time normality back into your life. 

If you can find a GA meeting in person please do, they will be back soon and some already are.

re Gordon Moody's, there is a member on here @daz78 who has and hopefully he'll be able to give you advice.

I do know people that work at treatment centres, specifically sporting chance, so that is sports background based, but the principle is the same.

There is an interview, a two week isolation period and then the treatment starts. They do different types of therapy but the one my friend does is help work the twelve step program which I also do and help others with and it has saved me on so many levels.

You are in there the whole time, I don't believe families visit but if you have really had enough what better place to be in, protected by the outside world, getting better with people that understand? One guy who did it left because it wasn't for him but countless others swear by it.

All the best and if you want to carry on talking on here please do.

Chris.

@forum-admin

Thanks for the response Elizabeth.

I do have depression but it is 90% gambling related I reckon.

All those organisations you mentioned are great but I feel that if I can kick the gambling everything in my life will be better, so I think my therapy needs to be more gambling focused if that makes sense

I am now out of work for the first time in my life since I was 16 and on Universal Credit so I feel like there will never be a better time to throw myself into an long term in patient programme so it doesn't affect my job (because I don't have one) I might not and hopefully will not have time like this on my hands again

@chris-uk

I can empathise with all you have said there Chris and definitely with the part about thinking you are ok after a while and that you might be able to have a fun bet again like normal people do and keep it fun.

The first time I sought help was 5 years ago from my parents because I was in about £20k of payday loan debt (miniscule compared to what happened later on) and living in London on my own and couldn't pay my rent or eat or anything. They cleared all my debts and I paid them back within 9 months because I was on good money and got a good lump sum bonus.

During the first 6 months of that time after they bailed me out I didn't have a single bet on willpower alone (longest time I've ever not gambled) and then one saturday I was bored on my own and did a small stakes football accumulator because I thought I was 'cured' and then instantly slipped back into my old ways.

I got more wreckless and staked higher more frequent bets and took out all kinds of crazy high interest loans to fund them and maybe subconsciously I was even more care free because I figured my parents would bail me out again which they did about 4 or 5 times over the next 3 years.

When in that frame of mind I'll do or say anything to get money to gamble and when I could tell they were no longer going to put up with my S***e I started robbing them instead. It makes me sick thinking about it now.

When they wised up to that they kicked me out (I was staying with them having moved back up north) and I moved in with my girlfriend and after about 3 months did stuff I'm too ashamed to say even anonymously on a forum.

I will defo contact that guy Daz and see what he has to say about GM. I am unemployed for the first time ever so will never (hopefully) have the time to attend an inpatient facility again without it affecting my work.

Thanks for the advice

@chris-uk

apologies but how do I actually contact @daz78 ? I can't see how to message him so do I just hope he sees a notification because I've tagged him?

Hi Peter , good luck with your treatment, your level of self harm cannot go on . I hope you find peace and a way to move forward, I too say that GA can offer you a pathway forward most meetings are running now, I wish you all the best and look forward to news from you that things are progressing

Thanks Charlie

@peter86 That was why I tagged him in, hoping that he would get a notification, even though he might not have been on the site in a while. Maybe the @forum-admin could contact him as he would have had an email adress to sign up to here in the first place?

Like you can relate to me, so I you, and so I'm sure many others. There are so many degrees of this illness that if you haven't done some of the things that you've done, it's normally only a matter of time!

I would suggest that it's a very good time for you to get the help, even if you don't get advice from anyone on here who's maybe not been in a Gordon Moody treatment centre.

Outside of this forum you could try and contact the lads from Whysup. They are partners of GM, both the guys have addictions and they may be able to give you some more advice. You'll have to google them but they aren't hard to find. They have a contact on their website.

Hope that helps,

Chris.

Dear @peter86 and @chris-uk,

please see rules on exchanging email addresses with other Forum users:

https://www.gamcare.org.uk/forum/welcome-to-the-gamcare-forum/exchanging-contact-details-with-other-members/

If you'd like to initiate an exchange please email forum.admin@gamcare.org.uk

All the best,

Eva

Forum Admin

thank you I will do just that

@peter86 did you have any joy in regards to the GM centres?

hi mate @chris-uk I did indeed.

Had a phone interview which took an hour and have been put on the wait list, so porvisionally accepted I would say.

they have said they want to do a pre-evalutation over the phone which may take a couple of weeks just to make sure I am mentally sound to cope with the treatment which is quite intense, because of the self harm issues being quit recent.

I found some guys on twitter that had attended and they can't speak highly enough of the place. One of them even works for them now, and had I was on the phone with him for a good two hours talking about my situation.

Hopefully I will get on that programme soon.

Thanks for your help and advice