Hello

Hi Clarabow, welcome to recovery 🙂

Telling someone is just part of recovery, now time to work on the other stuff! Firstly, you need to figure out how to break your Time-Money-Location as removing one takes away the ability to gamble! I recommend getting hubby to download some blocking software (K9 is free but Gamcare will be able to guide you) & never ever reveal the password! Then give some consideration to counselling through Gamcare or getting to a GA room which will help address why you do it! Help is also available for your loved ones through Gamcare should they want it!

This is a great place to have found, lots of wisdom between these walls & ways to beat this One Day At A Time! You may want to consider starting a recovery diary as it's a great place to let off steam & distract yourself when the urges hit!

Life without gambling is life, not this lonely existence you are surviving @ the moment!

Time to start your fight - ODAAT

Thank you so much for replying

im going to have to do it without blocking the pc ( hard to explain why) I've been reading some posts and its a strange kind of relief to know I'm not alone in tthis im so glad I found this place

That's not uncommon either & recovery is still possible! Are you able to surrender your finances? No money, no gamble!

Also, I recommend having a look @ GT's thread on Tips for keeping busy as if you will need something to occupy your time, especially in these early days!

You most definately aren't alone!

Maybe I'm no alone tthanks

but I Am

Stupid

Pathetic

WEAK

a Loser

ugly

old

a horrible person for hurting my hhusband

selfish

unworthy

i could go on and on , believe me I'm not being hard on myself I'm being brutally honest, I should have learned my lesson a long time ago, I don't want the label that I've given myself, me a gambler? I've always thought I was playing for fun. Well the fun's stopped and the pain is killing

please god let this be the start of changing

Clarabow what you are feeling and experiencing right now is what every single person here has /does feel, you've come to the right place. Self exclude from every gambling right now! Now your feeling the way you are it's a good time to self exclude, insist you want to self exclude for life as some sites say it's a maximum of 5 years that's bulls**t insist for life channel your current anger to the gambling sites and insist this really is it! You can do this, we are here to help you. Love and happy thoughts and remember..... I will not gamble today xx

Thanks

iWILL NOT GAMBLE AGAIN !!!!

Those words you used are what addiction would have you believe as then it can sit on your shoulder & pretend to be your friend! FUN is a word that the industry has ruined for us, there is nothing FUN about being a compulsive gambler but we are lucky...It's an illness we can control! As my good friend Ade2 once pointed out, we're not horrible people, we just took a wrong turn! The old I'll give you but the rest you can change or make amends for! It shouldn't have taken me nearly 3 decades to learn my lesson but it did & I can't turn back time & recovery has taught me to be kinder to myself! I have not worked it but the 12 step program that GA use speaks of everything you have just mentioned!

Draw a line under the past & forge out a new future - ODAAT

Thank you again you've no idea just what comfort you have given me , I'm scared but have to try and look forward , I want to repair the damage I've done

It is scary! Never gambling again terrified me to start with, but now (not sure who I got this from) I can look back but not stare! A bad day in recovery beats gambling any day & still Mr Gamble pops his ugly mug up from time to time, trying to entice me back with his lies! Just so you know, I don't think I made it out of bed for 3 days @ the start of my journey to here so don't be too surprised @ how much this hurts! I think you may be there already but when we first take our heads out of the sand, the trail of destruction that we have left behind us appears in 4D!

You must look forward - ODAAT

I'm trying so hard but my husband is broken and I've done it to him.

ive told him I've come here because I want him to know that I'm serious this time but I feel like I've ruined everything and I can't describe the pain

There is great support on here for friends & family because, let's face it, they're the innocent victims in all this but you are needing to change now & hopefully he will see that & find a way to support you going forwards! You could suggest he starts his own thread or maybe talk to Gamcare!

Why don't you ring them & have a chat with a pro? They might have some ideas for how you can best cope with this! You don't need to describe the pain, we can feel it in your words!

But, commit to recovery & it will get easier - ODAAT

Just wanted to send you a hug. I am in the same place as you and have hurt my husband. We can do this x

Thank yyou

you are all wonderful people

xx

Hi Clarabow,

From a male perspective, he's only annoyed and hurt because he cares. And heck, he married you so you must be doing something right! It's the same with every argument (non gambling related) I have with my missus, she gets upset and angry because she really cares. It sounds a cliche but it's honestly true. What I try and do in these situations is make it positive, think okay I f*cked up but look how much he/she cares, look how lucky I am to have someone like that and use it as motivation. Be as honest as possible and I have every faith that you can kick this horrid addiction.

From personal experience I'm on day 45 having gambled thousands away over about 5 years. I never thought it'd be possible to stop but with the help of the fantastic people on these threads and my own personal commitment I've come a lot further than I thought I would. we can all see what gambling is doing to you and I'm certain you can turn it all around.

All the best