As one of my favourite "elders" says in one of my online zoom meetings
In my left hand is the past, I can't change that it's history
In my right hand is the future, it's a mystery
In the middle is today, it's a gift and why it's called presentÂ
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Just about sums up recovery for me. So being present in my life is surely the biggest gift of recovery and keeps giving every new day. It makes me able to enjoy everything in life, my family, friends and strangers walking down the street who I smile, nod or say hello to. I can be present for joyful and also sad moments in life to experience, reflect and process emotions rather than escape to the dark side.
I was a fully functioning compuslvie gambler. Those thoughts that the only damage was financial went on day one of recovery and this strange concept of being present was a revelation to me. Gone were the lies of the addiction telling me I forgot things because of the chaos. Not interacting was due to stress - what made the stress ? My brain convincing me that the big win would pay everyone back for me not being there fully as if time can be bought back. That gambling was my job and I made money from it.
I think being present is also about experiencing emotions and feelings. As many have said, the best and worst thing about recovery is getting those back but surely that's the gift of being a human being and therefore present ?
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