I'm 36 and feeling absolutely rock bottom, I've gambled all my life , have a good job as an electrician , working 60 hour weeks for the whole of my life but everything I earn have just gone.
Inheritance money gone also, I never know when to stop. I'm ok when I'm in a relationship but they always go t**s up , probably because of the gambling . I find it hard to want to be in a relationship now as I feel a disappointment to myself and I feel no one would want me .
I know I need help but can't face sitting in a room with lots of strangers .
Im gonna start today, try my best not to enter any bookies at all, and get my life back on track.
Day 1 , let's see how it goes . Adam
Hi Adam , and welcome to the forum , up until about 9 months ago I was in the same position as you , I'd gambled all my life and worked long hours just to pump money hand over fist into a bookies machine , it all becomes a bit of a predictive cyle really and you end up not even enjoying gambling anymore , it's aboiut the buzz you once got from it the money really doesn't make any difference because if we win , enoughs never enough and any winnings are just gambling tokens .
Your also right that " it lowers your self esteem " because you spend so long alone gambling you lose sense of what a real relationship is like and you end up just wanting a relationship with gambling , it's your lover , comforter , mistress all in one , so why would you waste valuable gambling time on someone real ?.
It can all improve pretty quickly my friend , youv'e already done the hard bit and relised you need to stop gambling and by coming here youv'e given yourself something to work with .
Not sure what you know regarding what we refer of as the Time , money location triangle ? but its about removing one and keeping it broken , self exclude from bookies or sites avoid carrying more money than you need , that sort of thing , i think with you it's bookies so self exclusion is easy just walk in with a couple of photos and fill in a form , a bit embarrasing at first , it was for me but by the time I'd come out of the last I felt as though I'd taken a bit of control back again .
Give yourself a bit of time for the gambling fog to lift and everything will seem much clearer , it wont take long until you notice the improvements in your life , the confidence will return because you'll be taking back control .
You can do this Adam , you just have to want too !!
Talk to you soon buddy and welcome to recovery .
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