Help - Got some big decisions to make.

Morning and welcome to the forum.

Give the free GamCare number a ring and they will set you off on the right foot.

A gambling addiction makes us make some rash decisions. Probably the leaving Uni is one of them I'm afraid, or at least the addiction will be be contributing to your decision. Don't do it! Start your recovery and keep on at Uni if not too late. Both decisions could and should make your future brighter.

You must tell mum and dad, seek their help and support. This addiction is way too hard to fight alone. The money is lost now, put that behind you. Being a young-person working hard in life will bring its awards to you. Don't let your future be ruled by the madness caused by this terrible addiction. Come clean, tell mum & dad, get them to control your cash and carry on at uni.

All the best

You must tell them now. Leave it another 5 years when you are up to your eyeballs in debt, it will be harder.

The money has gone. If it has taught you about compulsive gambling and you never gamble again, I promise you it will be very well spent.

You are young, your parents will be angry, but they will help you.

You can do anything you want in life, don't waste it gambling and taking crappy jobs just to pay your debt.

Stand up, take a deep breath and walk forward with your life.

You can tell people that you gambled, but it wasn't for you.

Good luck my friend and do the right thing

My name is Jordan, I'm just from Carlisle and I going to face the facts in the morning and tell my parents about my situation. If i don't I'll be in a worse situation down the line!

Hello Jordan

I am the parent of a gambler so have been in your parents shoes and have gone through the pain of finding out the same thing that you are about to tell them. However, it is really very important that you take the bull by the horns and tell them asap. Yes, they will be shocked, yes there may be tears, yes they may be angry with you but you have to accept their anger and distress and then assure them that you will take all the steps to not let this happen again and work out ways of getting your life back on track. The positives are you are only 20, have your whole life and plenty of time to play around with. You are obviously bright to have got to uni so use that brain to maybe find another career path and there are plenty out their. Apprenticeships etc. Please beg your parents to take over your finances, bank statements, cards etc so they can moniter what you are spending. It will make it so much harder for you to gamble. If the inheritance is gone there is nothing you can do now so concentrate on working out ways of getting that money back into your life and I mean working for it not winning it. Tell Mum and Dad you have been on here and are seeking help already. Whatever happens keep talking to us on here and to the Gamcare counsellors. The gambling industry is drawing more and more young people like you into their clutches and it really is heartbreaking to see your young lives being put in jeopardy at such a young age. So Jordan don't let them ruin your life - you fight them all the way - don't let them win!

Good luck and really hope you have a happy and successful future.

Welcome to the forum Jordan.

It's a brave and smart decision to come clean, they will find out in time be much better to come from you. They will be angry but they will be a lot angrier if you don't go to them for help when you are in trouble. When you tell them remain calm answer the questions honestly don't keep anything hidden there's no point it will come out eventually.

I wish you well it won't be an easy ride but it worth it. I leave you with this quote I heard the other day.

Three things cannot be long hidden, the sun, the moon and the truth.

KTF

Hi Carlisle0511.

Yes you must reach out for all help because firmly linked with gambling is the fact that you are clearly not happy. The two go hand in hand and the stress and loneliness of going to a new place plays havok with a mind that wants to gamble as a form of escape and comfort blanket.

it sounds strange but you may be looking for any emotion from gambling to change the way things feel. You are young and uni can be a stressful time while you settle in or decide not to continue.

There is no shame in asking for help and dealing with depression or stress issues. Gambling is often a symptom of feeling lost in life.

So yes you do need to tell your parents...dont go through your life not telling people about problems because you cant bottle it up.

You have had a gambling addiction. Its not the answer and will only bankrupt you.

Please read the foum, reach out for help and get a new sense of pride

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

Hi, an little update on my life.

I decided to tell my parents the day after my birthday, i felt a lot better after saying the whole story to them and laying my cards on the table, coming clean with everything. When I first posted this I was I felt trapped but I am now open to speak about it, Im still not in the best states. After losing the inherritance and getting myself in a bed mental and physical state, i came home thinking i could start again without gambling but on the 11th of this month I went online to gamble again. I didnt want too but it was my addiction taking over an illness. I was fortunate to stop myself only losing a few hundred pounds rather than more and since then I have seeked regular help to get myself out the habit of gambling.

I left university but in financial trouble with them, thats why im not feeling the best but im looking to sort it out and try andget some full time work.

I also attended GA for the first time last night which felt good telling my story to people that understood what i am going through rather than telling people whi do not understand the illness of gambling.

I hope never to gamble again. Only gone 11 days but its a start.

Hi again

Telling your parents and attending meetings are brave and lifechanging moves for you and you should be proud of yourself. 11 days is a great start to a g-free life so just take one day at a time and keep ticking off those days. You may have had to pull out of uni but the fact that you got there in the first place is an achievement in itself and there are other career routes to take such as professional apprenticeships etc. I always think it's good to have a project and in your case the project in hand would probably be planning out your recovery process and employment future. Forget about the losses now and concentrate on building a positive future - easier said than done, I know, but at least you can say you tried. I am sure your parents will be pleased with the effort you are making already. Keep talking to them about your progress or any worries and hopefully they will help you keep an eye on your finances as well which is important and keep in touch on here - it is a great support system.

Good luck with everything.

Hi Jordan,

Welcome to the forum and well done for coming here for support.

Be proud getting into uni, it is t for everyone so there is no shame leaving. I believe gambling is associated with an escape from an unhappy area of your life. For me it was my marriage breaking up. Not through gambling, hadn't tried it before then but it was an escape. Some people choose drink, drugs, origami, long walks, skydiving......anything. We choose gambling.

Coming clean is important. Going out of control is terrible and the regret and emotional problems are terrible. Support is what you need and you do have your whole life ahead of you. Cut losses gone. They aren't coming back and never gamble again. I gambled over few months, stopped it after some heafty losses. I was ultimately the problem as never knew when to stop and if I won it went straight back in. You found out gambling is not for you at twenty, I found at 38. Don't let it ruin your life. Nip it in the bud. Look to a gamble free future and enjoy your time. Someone above said you tried gambling and it wasn't for you. They are spot on. It wasn't for me, stopped before it became a REAL problem plaguing my life. I lost five grand. I paid that back months ago. Never gambled again. Never will. Never is Astro g word as be careful as we are all one bet away from the problem coming back.

Keep posting. Support is the key!