help needed

Hi Danny and welcome to the forum , I don't know much about the online side of things as I was always in the bookies chucking real notes into a Fobt but you can get blocking software for your laptop , tablet ect , one that many use on here is K9 and thats a free one but there are others which cost , so maybe worth looking into ? , you could also contact gamcare who would advise or I'm sure others on here will pick up on your post shortly .

Sorry I can't help anymore but I wish you well and welcome to recovery !

Alan

Hi Danny

My name is Dan too. I'm in a very similiar position apart from i gamble on blackjack. I haven't got any online blocking apps as i say everytime i will stop doing it. I'm not entirely sure why i do it or what makes me want to do it. I've got to a point where i can win £1000 and just look at it as pretend money, No buzz to winning anymore which clearly means there is a problem. I have posted for the first time tonight as well hoping somebody can help and hopefully you find the same. Keep posting mate it will be nice to see you pull through,

Take care

Dan

Hi Guys , this is to both of you , Your right when you say its not about the money anymore , what started as a bit of fun just becomes about the constant need for a buzz , a fix but it never feels as good as it used to , which is why the stakes get bigger and bigger and the money even if you win is just ammunition for the next bet " We cannot win because we cannot stop " .

As Compulsive gamblers , we can no longer walk away with a few quid , its always more , more , more until we lose it all again and then the cycle begins of borrowing money from places or people we shouldn't in order to chase what weve just lost!.

There's a saying on here " That nothing changes if nothing changes " and thats down to you both , the best advice that I can give is to forget once and for all about the money youv'e lost , accept that its gone forever and not coming back because all the time you chase it and live with that hope of one more big win and I'll be fine way of thinking , your'e never going to be free .

I've had many discussions on here over the lastr 7 months and thats probarbly the biggest thing that allows people to move on and stand the best chance of being gamble free !

You really can't beat the odds and thats what your dealing with everday you choose to gamble , thats why the bookies are rich and were on here ! .

Stay safe guys !

Thanks for the replies. It's the online slots that get me every time, they draw me in like a magnet. I can stop a couple of days and then see an advert or email and then without thinking just blow the contents of my bank account. I did £200 last night in twenty minutes and I felt so bad and angry, just got up for work after no sleep. Think I need to take one day at a time and change the way I think, been extremely impulsive is a major issue to me. Hi Dan hope we can support each other through this pal.

Morning,

There's a lot of information and support out there but you have to take it and use it. The help needed ultimately comes from you. You each have to help yourselves, if you don't, who will?

Most people need targeted real life support, best is GA, a group of people in a room with a common problem, common experience and a common interest in finding solutions and supporting each other.

There's a lot of advice on the forum about blocking software, self exclusion, handing over financial control, generally keeping the time money location triangle broken. Take one of these away and you can't gamble. Having a broken triangle at all times gives you thinking time to overcome the impulse to gamble.

But if you decline GA and are insistent on keeping your triangles intact, all the help in the world won't help you. Your choice.

Wish you well,

CW

Take a look at my diary guys...like you my addiction is /was online slots....I've been gamble free 90 odd days....yes it was hard to begin with...breaking the habbit...fighting with the addiction telling me I should just have a quick spin...a quick tenner...you have to want to break away from this...be committed to fighting it day in ..day out....in the early days when it was all still raw....my self exclusion from sites I played on was a godsend...ok so I hear you when you say
..join another site...maybe I was lucky and never wanted to do that...or maybe me knowing that I can't take even one spin anywhere in any site or I'm back to square one...I don't know....another thing that's worked for me is putting parental blocks on my broadband....that works a treat....I also gave my laptop to my daughter....which is the only thing I ever played on....I do still control all my own fiances. ...I have a daily cash book on the kitchen worktop...which I just hot down every penny I spend ....some on here would say that's not enough....but it's working well for us....so that's ok.....the hardest work in beating this addiction had been done by me....90 days of no play....and all the things in place to keep me safe should a wobble come along....you can do this boy's. ..no it's not easy....but what is in life....and I will not be giving my money...time ...or soul to any more online slots....I wish you both well...x

Me on day 1. Going for 100 days nil gambling. Dreamt about gambling last night which is a common experience

Gambling addiction is not fun. The guilt. Lying. Self criticism. Anger.

I can live without these

I normally give up one addicting behaviour eg horses and then sneak in an alternative-- the worse being the fobt

Hey...well done on coming here...and good luck on your journey....I found it easier to take little steps...one day...one week...two weeks...and so on...it seemed less daunting than aiming for a bigger number...and now before I know it I'm nearly at 100 days...just a thought...good luck...keep pushing x

I am here because of my husband, he will not seek help for his addiction and I don't know what to do anymore he is nasty and violent and unbearable to live with. I have tried to show him the way but it falls on deaf ears.

Hi kimkim my names Alan , first of all I'm sorry to hear about your situation , it sounds that your husband is in denial regarding his gambling but the more important thing you need to do is think about your own safety first and take care of you , whatever your husbands problems are , physical violence is not something you should or need to tolerate for one moment .

I'm not in a position to give advice as to what you need to do but think about contacting gamcare who would put you in touch with the people you need to speak to as soon as you can , you could also repeat your post on the family and friends section of this forum as there's a wealth of knowledge on there from people who have experienced similar situations , failing that call the authorities if you feel you are in any sort of danger .

Sorry I can't be of more help but wish you the best .

ALAN 135 wrote:

Hi kimkim my names Alan , first of all I'm sorry to hear about your situation , it sounds that your husband is in denial regarding his gambling but the more important thing you need to do is think about your own safety first and take care of you , whatever your husbands problems are , physical violence is not something you should or need to tolerate for one moment .

I'm not in a position to give advice as to what you need to do but think about contacting gamcare who would put you in touch with the people you need to speak to as soon as you can , you could also repeat your post on the family and friends section of this forum as there's a wealth of knowledge on there from people who have experienced similar situations , failing that call the authorities if you feel you are in any sort of danger .

Sorry I can't be of more help but wish you the best .

Thank You Alan, I need out of this relationship he is never going to change.

Hi kim , yeah that sounds a good idea from what youv'e said you have to look after yourself first and that's your prority at the moment , the gamblings nothing compared to your safety , I left a note to forum admin asking them to post to you but I don't know when they'll pick up on it ? but you should def go to the f& f section for lots of great advice from people who have experinced what you are going through now .

Had a lapse yesterday after 48 hours free of the dreaded slots. Spent a small fortune again but not giving up giving up this time. Taken the advice above and not chased the loss and just tried to forget about it. Kim think you need to get out of the relationship if there has been violence it will only get worse.

Hi Danny , look you need to get the blocks in place buddy , if nothing else they give you time to think before you act , download the software , k9 is free ! or gamblock is an alternative one that you pay for , your the only one that can stop gambling and the losse won't stop until you decide to stop ! .

Take care fella !