53 and been hostage to gambling since I was 18. I've completely wasted over half my life. In my teens to early 30s it was the 10/20p fruit machines that consumed everything. Â
Then things escalated in my late 30s with the introduction of £2/spin £500 jackpot machines in arcades and bookies.
At 40 I lost my marriage of 5 years because of it and was 80k in credit card debt, close to ending it all at one point. Managed to get the 80k written off.
Of course that wasn't enough of a lesson and I found online slots, soon careering to disaster once again.
During COVID my career hit the skids and I now work in a menial, low paying role but have still been gambling away thousands a month - the sick part of it is it was all very low "responsible" stakes which shows just how bad these games are.
I'm now £25,000 in fresh card debt and the payments/interest are killing me, nothing left over after bills and repayments, I know I need request to go on a debt management plan and just pay a low amount with interest frozen if they will do it, but I've been putting it off. At my age it's just bloody embarrassing.
I'm on Gamstop for what it's worth, but the sneaky bad part of my brain knows, there are plenty of offshore sites that will take UK players.
Never been comfortable in my own skin or happy, from my early years I've always felt there was something "off" with me. Always looked for quick, easy money (which of course, gambling is neither really) and never had any motivation to try and succeed in life. Only content when zoned out playing a slot game where I can go into a semi-trance, zoned out from being "me" for a while.
Anyway that's me, was a difficult write but I am determined to finally try to turn things around and that is how I found this place and hope to have some positive interactions here.
Hello forged-72,
Welcome to our GamCare Forum and thank you for sharing your first post with us.
It sounds like you’ve been through a really hard time with gambling and have experienced a lot of financial impacts. Dealing with this whilst also balancing day to day bills can be really stressful and exhausting especially when there are still urges present to want to gamble. A lot of people will be able to relate that high emotions you’re feeling during times like this can be a trigger. However, from your post I can hear a lot of determination in wanting to move on from this and make changes - I hope you hold onto to this as this can really help you stay motivated and continue to take positive steps forward in your journey.
You are not alone and if you would like further support beyond this space then please know that there is good support available through GamCare, such as accessing a more 1:1 support space. Accessing a 1:1 service can be a valuable space for you to reflect on some of the things you have mentioned in your post that is having an impact on you because of gambling. You can contact us through to our helpline to speak to one of our advisers to go through some support options. Our helpline is open 24/7 and you can contact us via call on 0808 8020 133 or you can go through our website and chat to someone here: https://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-support/talk-to-us-now/
You may also find accessing more peer support really motivating and beneficial for you in your recovery as connecting with others and sharing can help you on this positive momentum whilst reflecting with others. We have live chatrooms where you can connect with others going through a similar journey to yourself here: https://community.gamcare.org.uk/chatrooms/
In the meantime, you may also find it helpful to have a look at the ‘Managing your money’ resources on our website here where you can also find information on debt advice and support: https://www.gamcare.org.uk/self-help/managing-your-money/ Â
I hope you can continue to share and update your recovery journey here and how things go for you.
Best wishes,
Tara
Forum Admin
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