I DID IT AGAIN!

Hello, Star,

GA advise that the bet to avoid is the first one. As you've just found out again.

Star, putting the rent money in the slots is serious. Unchecked, your family will end up in a B&B and/or you will end up on the streets.

It's not the slots, it's you. The slots will always be there. You have to work round them. Yes, it's easy for me to say but this is all about YOU. If YOU want to stop gambling then YOU have to take responsibility and YOU have make things change. It's doable, it's done a lot in the recovery diaries section but no one can do it for you.

Hand over financial control to your partner, downgrade your mobile, install blocking software, get help from GA and or counselling. Follow the advice on the forum.

But if you change nothing about what you do, the only way is down.

Wish you well,

CW

Hi Star27, it really is scary taking the needed steps of blocking ALL avenues of gambling, those little demons want you to think that all your fun times will end and you'll have no chance of winning big if you self exclude but the truth is that when you have absolutely no chance of placing a bet, when you've made sure you carry no cash around with you there is a marvelous sense of freedom. I really hope you find the strength to stop gambling.

Debra

If you want to know what your bank balance would look like without gambling, try coming out of the zone and breaking your time money location triangle. Self exclude, hand over financial control and get help from GamCare or GA.

Or stay in the zone, away from your OH and kids.

Your call. But not a lot to lol about.

CW

Star , My friend in all honesty you need to stop paying lip service to yourself , .

Read back over your posts and I believe you last had a bet on friday ?.

If you truly want to stop gambling , then "STOP ", you have a partner and kids dependent on you , as you said xmas is coming up and you want to buy extra things for the kids ?. So stop chucking your , no , there money into a slot machine !. .

Nothing changes until you change and I cant see much off that happening , stop for the next 4 weeks until xmas , its not much to ask from you and may give you something to give the kids at christmas , it will also give you back your self esteem, they deserve that and so do you, they need you to do that for them and you need that for yourself !.

I hate sounding so harsh but I get so annoyed when what you are doing affects you and your family in such a way , your an adult with responsibilities and you need to sort your life out now !.

There's a lot of help available here and all you have to do is take it but no amount of help is any good if you dont get some willpower, nobody's forcing you to bet except you . Iv'e been a compulsive gambler for many , many years I just didn't realise it until the last couple .

Iv'e made a decision in my life to quit gambling for good and thats what I intend to do , in the last 76 days of being gamble free , I've been up , down , cried my eyes out and been through pretty much every other emotion there is but " I DIDN'T GAMBLE " my choice !.

You know as well as I, that only you can decide to bet or not to bet, sure its an addiction but its an addiction you can beat if you open your arms to recovery and do what you need to do , to change your life !.

I've had a right old go at you here and I'm not apologising for that but as always with anyone on here , you have my best wishes and my endless support !

I hope you make the right choices, but as always its down to you !, Alan

Hi. Alan, you are 100% right. I know that. I understand that. To be honest I do not know why I allow myself to do it. Recently whilst sitting pressing that button I have been so bored. My brain tells me to get up and go but my finger keeps pressing that button. I don't go to win. Not many people understand this. It's like I just go to throw my money away............... Almost lol I am punishing myself. Why?! Please don't think that my children are hard done by because of my behaviour because they are not they have everything they need and more, but they could be spoilt a lot more or I could just save the money I am stupidly spending for a rainy day I don't know what draws me there if I'm sad I want to go, if I'm P****d off I want to go, if I hear bad news I want to go... Almost like no other emotions exist whilst I am there I understand your frustration reading what I am doing along with thousands of people like me because you have been there too I understand CW because of her situation too and I do hope I wake up and smell the roses sooner rather than later please explain the time money location triangle..? Thank you x

Hi Star , firstly I wasn't meaning in any way that your kids were neglected, so sorry if I gave that impression , all I meant was that directly or indirectly , you doing what your doing to yourself regards gambling , affects everyone you hold dear , you feeling the way you do is bound to show through and have an effect on them . While I was gambling I felt exactly what you described , It wasn't about the money , it was pure buzz , some of it was boredom but mainly the buzz .

If you sit down and think about it , I beleive its just because its a habit !,were so used to doing the same thing day in day out , it's automatic , to the point we just dont think about it anymore ! .

You have to re programme you brain , to do something else , with me I tend to take the dog for a walk or clean the house a bit just until the feeling goes , you can do whatever suits you , as long as it breaks the thought of gambling , I must just say I have a shiny house and a very fit dog now though !!.

The Time, money , location triangle is about keeping it broken , so without them all being there you can't bet .

So for instance if I exclude from a bookies , I could still have the time and money but no betting shop ?, with you if you bet on line, either block the sites so you can't bet or make sure you have no way of depositing funds to bet with , so thats the location and money taken care of ?.

Lots of things make us bet and usually its about running away from life in some way , because weve had a bad day or a row with our partner , that sort of thing , but we need to deal with those things in a way that doesn't make you want to run to the nearest gaming site , its like a comfort blanket for a small child , and at some point we need to let go !

You sound as though you really want to stop Star ,so go find something else to focus on and take your life back !

Always there for support Star , take care for now ..........................Alan

Hello, Star,

Sorry but it directly affects the children. That's the one thing that no parent wants to hear, the suggestion really presses buttons, but to think otherwise is pure denial. Especially when it's the rent money - according to your first post on this thread - that ends up in the fruit machines. Your OH may knowingly or unknowingly save the day but what example of normal do you think you're setting for your children? They copy what you do.

Harsh words but well intentioned. You can overcome this but only you can do it. Like other people who post, I wish you well.

CW

Hi Star

Try not to kick yourself to hard and feel too fustrated. Took me 3 painful years to completely abstain from gambling. Going on 2 years now. Two steps forward and one back. If you genuinely want gambling out of your life and you can admit your a compulsive gambling, you've taken the first and most important steps.

I know it better said than done. But you have to forget about your losses and move on. As others have no doubt said before, put the blocks in place and seek help through counselling or GA. The more you abstain from gambling the easier it will become to stay away from it for good.

Matt

Hello Star, stranger!! - How are you? I haven't really been on here as much over the last few days. I got paid on Thursday. I hate to say it, but within minutes of it hitting my account I was depositing. I couldn't help myself, I was not strong enough. Fortunately I paid what I owed out first and even more fortunately I did not lose. I withdrew what I deposited. But that is hardly the point - is it? I thought I would be strong enough, responsible enough this month to be able to fight this d**n urge. So, I spoke to my family again today, my Mum bless her, she listens and tries to understand. But I hope today I have made it perfectly clear, I am a compulsive gambler, and I will gamble at any given opportunity. As I have said before, I am fortunate in the fact that I am not in debt. But who knows what would happen if I continued. Anyway, I have also spoken to my partner and told him when I get paid (he pays me as I work for him) so he knows when it hits my account, I must tranfer it out of my reach immediately. Part of me wants to say I can't help it, but i know I can, I guss I, like so many others don't fight it. I give in to that awful temptation. And in hope of what? Why, when I know ineveitably I will lose. I guess that is the million dollar question for us all.

.

Seriously I just wrote the longest post and it has disappeared!!! Just aswell maybe.......

Hello Star 27

If you would like to call our freephone helpline it is 08 08 80 20 133 we are open everyday from 8am -midnight advisors will listen to your concerns about being afraid to self exclude and will be able to give you information on strategies and other support available such as free counselling in your local area or group support such as gamblers anonymous meetings. We also have a netline where you can talk with an advisor http://www.gamcare.org.uk/support-and-counselling/frontline-services/netline#.VltseHbhAdU

From your post I can see that you are thinking of self exclusion from the casino.

Here is information on self exclusion http://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-advice/what-can-you-do/self-exclusion#.VlttnnbhAdV

and information on software for online gambling http://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-advice/what-can-you-do/blocking-software#.VltxN3bhAdV

Please keep posting Star 27 we are here to support you

Caroline