I feel like i have ruined my life

Hey Steve,

I know exactly how you feel man. I don't know anything about your relationship with your parents but being able to share it with people can really help. They may be angry or whatever but I would imagine they want to support you through it all.

I try not to get too hung up over money any more. Sure it hurts, but whats gone is gone. I don't know if you would agree, but its our mental health and relationships with loved ones that are the most damaged, but it can be repaired.

Hope you're OK bud

Will

thanks Will i appreciate it, i just know how i let myself get this way, i feel like something was switched off in my head and now its been switched on and everything is caving in on me. I dont know when i became such a piece of s**t.

I feel like my parents should be enjoying their retirement and not having to worry about me, they have given me so much and that wasnt good enough. i feel like i am so selfish, i am hiding this from the people i love because i feel ashamed and hate myself so much.

I do spend alot of time by myself inside my head, feeling worthless and inadequate. i have never been the most confident and epressive of people, i dont know if that has made me into the person i am now.

I am feeling very depressed and helpless right now

Steve you're certainly alone. You will get through this. Everyone has tough times in their lives and you will overcome this. There is no shame. Experience is gained from "mistakes". You need to think rationally and you will get out of the dark place you feel you're in. keep going mate. you'll get through the other side.

I feel like i don't deserve any support and love. I have broken myself and will break my parents hearts. I don't derserve to live in this world anymore.

I was just a lonely person, looking for an escape from my pain and I think I have damaged my life beyond repair. My family wont look at me the same way again, and for what a slim chance on winning money. I wish I died at birth so I didn't turn into the biggest s**m on earth.

I do know exactly how you feel sadly, but ultimately you know that isn't true. Rather then give up on everything, why not try and make things right?

Not that that's easy, honesty leads to tough questions and conversations, it will be emotional, but wouldn't you rather try and enjoy life again? I know I would

redsteve1....no matter what has gone on in the past...it is past. All the mistakes...all the money wasted etc etc...its in the past. There are no mistakes or regrets in your future...your future is perfect...no blips or black spots...its truely perfect...because it hasnt happened yet. What you do from now on is what matters...Tomorrow is a perfect day...its up to you what you do with it. I have read so many stories of people who have completely turned their lives around...it can be done and there is a future which can be great.You just have to believe that. There are many many people in this world that have faced so many aweful problems and come out the other side better people for it. You can be one of these people. There is nothing beyond repair when it comes to gambling. Once you stop, life improves greatly, and you will be surprised how quickly life gets better once you stop. Maybe an idea to phone the helpline and they can give you some better guidance than I can. There is help out there and life can get so much better for you. The low feeling of depression and despair are unfortunelty part of the gambling demon. Rid yourself of the gambling monster and other aspects of life somehow fall into place. Please call someone, a helpline, or a friend. This is a burden that is better not battled alone.

I have made my life into such a mess and i dont know why

i could have had a happy life and now i have completely wrecked my life and knowone will ever see me the same way again.

i feel i wasnt living in reality for so long and now i have woken up. i think i derserve to die.

Hey Steve

Maybe the fact that you on the fourm shows that you do want to be happy and value your life. I understand about you not wanting to burdon your parents and its not really my pleace to say this but if they love you they may rather know and help you, they will always be your parents. s**t happens in life and we all f**k up sometmes. Many dont always understand why we gamble (hey we dont know ourselves most of the time) and think we are a******s but hey your not a killer or a rapist, and it sounds like you have not stolen from your parents to gamble and many have (I am not judging them). You gotta love yourself man and share some comapssion with yourself, thats where everthing starts

Even if you dot want it I am sending you a hug

Martin