I’m so fed up of being a loser I’ve lost £500k in the last 12 months

Posted by: jrt

I’m so fed up of my life I hate gambling it controls me I can’t stop even when I win I want more and don’t stop until I lose it all. I’ve recently lost my job due to covid so I can’t afford this anymore. I just feel so low all the time I don’t want to talk to anyone all I think about is all the money I’ve lost, sold a house that was meant to be for my future now that’s gone. What a loser why am I doing this I have or used to have a very good job so I know I’m intelligent but then how can I become so stupid. I have a caring family who I hide this from but I’m coming Constantly  moody. I’m 43 and I’ve been doing this since 15......... I’m so depressed just want to give up on life 

Hi jrt and welcome to the Gamcare forums. Im sorry you are feeling low at the moment but im glad you have decided to address your issues with gambling. Please dont say you want to give up on life, there is a way forward. Are you seeing any kind of support for your mental well being? I would say you are probably better off in the long run being totally hones with your family, however I will leave that decision up to you.

Feel free to share more about your journey, we are here to offer you support, along with our members in the live chat rooms. In fact im about to make a coffee and join them right now (1PM and 8PM)

Hiya jrt 

Well my friend you sound like your in a dark place just like the rest of us, I know how easy and destructive gambling can be and it doesn't mean our stupid it's just the gambling addiction has had a hold on you and by the sounds off it you've had enough and the courage to reach out. Well I've got my own story but we'll leave that for another day you just have to know your not on your own it doesn't mean your stupid and reading other peoples stories you can get on top off this and be happy again. Plus all those feelings you've got at this moment we all DO. So talk to gamcare make a plan and start your gamble free life as it's there and you can do it,  good luck my friend 

Hi,

 I totally can relate to that, doesn't matter how much you win you always wanted more and eventually end up lost it all. It difficult to find the best solution, however all what we can do just let it go and start all over again .It  seems easier said that done but if we not start now we never get there.

Hi mate most people that gamble are technically losers I'm a loser? you have a problem I'm 15thousand in debt and I've only gambled for the past 4 months. All these companys know how to get you know how to keep you coming. Only way is up how much worse can it get. The fact your on here posting shows you want it to change.I feel the lowest I've ever been but I know I can beat it and no doubt you can too. I dont knowing me saying anything helps it doesn't for me when other people do. All you can do is try your best mate I'm going to get over this horrible addiction and so are you

Look at this as a call for change. The question is what you do now? Now it is time to reach out go to meetings and talk to likeminded people who go through what you go through. It is easy maths now. Same attracts the same. You gamble more you will continue gambling. You talk to people here more and gamble less you will be gambling less. You continue being unhappy you will be unhappy. If you get yourself happy you will eventually become happy. Happy vs unhappy is at least 3/1 and that means you are 3 times more likely to be unhappy than happy so this demands the most of your attention. So how do you get there?  You start by taking full responsibility for your problems and accepting them. Then you fight like hell to stay positive till you get passed the odds that keep you unhappy. Just that is stressful in itself but I can give you one key that can help you get there faster.

Stay of the gambling when you are doing all of this and you will get there faster.

Best

C

Another thing. A casino is not a bank. It is a lie.

thank you for responding, they know i have a problem i told them about 7 years ago but they think i stopped 7 years ago.... i feel so ashamed im a grown man with no control its like im a drug addict  but worse. i feel so empty insdie like there a never ending hole which cant be filled. i suffer from depression and also an eating disorder on top of my gambling problem. people think i have a good life but im dying inside happy on the outside and crying inside. all my problems depression and eating disorder is caused by gambling, when i lose i want to punish myself.

thank you for taking the time talk to me, i feel so lost ive been so low today my family keep asking me whats wrong and i just go quiet, im a really private person so talking like this is hard for me but i guess its better to talk to people who understand as normal people wont as they dont have addictions they cant control. I want to stop so badly  and i have joined gam stop only to find they are still places you can join outside the UK !!!! i keep getting emails and junk everyday i just want everything to stop its like they no you have a problem and keep tempting you back why dont they understand ! i mail them and tell them to take me off there data base and they dont. worse thing is now im so down im closing myself off from the world and i dont even want to go outside

You will get emails every day of your life and all of them will try and condition you to play. This is the time where you will need to change your attitude. My therapist said it so well. You're on the football field and you have the ball. Your family and friends are screaming from the sidelines but only you are playing ball. You can go left or right it is completely up to you. No one will come and pick you up from this. No one will have a magic pill. It is up to you to stand up and decide what goal to go for and then start to move that way. We are ALL empowered to do things Just waking up in the morning and getting out of bed should prove that to you. We are ALL empowered. You just need to do it.

Does your therapist work, I’ve tried therapy for other addictions spent 9 months going to hospital every week for 2 hours, it did help for a little while but then I just went back to old ways. I’m a really sensitive emotional guy with a big heart that would help anyone, I just feel like I can’t ask for help as I’m embarrassed hence why I find it easier talking on this, from as early as I can remember gambling is the root cause of all my issues. I understand what your saying about the football pitch and I agree with you if only it was as simple as that. I need change something fundamental in my life or nothing will change. Thank you for taking the time to talk to me I appreciate it, there are some good people in the world I believe in karma 

You owe it to yourself to have peace of mind and be content, gambling for me was definitely a form of self harm connected to feeling that I didn't deserve to be happy and live a 'normal' life. My every waking moment was consumed by gambling, thinking about the next spin or worrying about money. Take as much help and encouragement from here as you can but primarily the strength comes from you. You are worth it!. Take care S 🙂

After looking at the forum rules here I can not see that I am breaking any of them when I say what worked on me. Hypnosis worked on me. Shifting focus on what had all my attention on. What you do when you gamble is being stuck in a focused dopamine state. There are cases where people in vegas has had massive heart attacks and people have just continued staring into the lights. Dopamine is a chemical reward that goes out in your brain when stimulated ( look at it as stimulation drug to get you to do things). It is released in smaller or larger quantities. In addicts, it is much higher levels going out in your brains (headaches etc) and those levels make your system shut out the entire world and focus on what it is your doing and nothing else. But if you ask a hypnotist to do change work on you and change the levels of focus to either something else or less than you currently have you will start to feel some change from it as it is the same thing as mindfulness. You don't sink into a trancelike state as you are more aware of what is going on. Now mind you there are no quick fixes. Things take time but they can definitely be done with the right tools. Make a decision that you will change your life and you will change your life. Think it was Roosevelt who said If you say you can or you can not. You will be right in both decisions. It is definitely your decision to make so remove YOUR labels and chose another label to wear. The difference will be dramatic and powerful but you will grow from the experience. 

All the best

C

Posted by: Sharon41

You owe it to yourself to have peace of mind and be content, gambling for me was definitely a form of self harm connected to feeling that I didn't deserve to be happy and live a 'normal' life. My every waking moment was consumed by gambling, thinking about the next spin or worrying about money. Take as much help and encouragement from here as you can but primarily the strength comes from you. You are worth it!. Take care S 🙂

i want to be happy and live a normal life. thank you for your comment 

Posted by: c43h

After looking at the forum rules here I can not see that I am breaking any of them when I say what worked on me. Hypnosis worked on me. Shifting focus on what had all my attention on. What you do when you gamble is being stuck in a focused dopamine state. There are cases where people in vegas has had massive heart attacks and people have just continued staring into the lights. Dopamine is a chemical reward that goes out in your brain when stimulated ( look at it as stimulation drug to get you to do things). It is released in smaller or larger quantities. In addicts, it is much higher levels going out in your brains (headaches etc) and those levels make your system shut out the entire world and focus on what it is your doing and nothing else. But if you ask a hypnotist to do change work on you and change the levels of focus to either something else or less than you currently have you will start to feel some change from it as it is the same thing as mindfulness. You don't sink into a trancelike state as you are more aware of what is going on. Now mind you there are no quick fixes. Things take time but they can definitely be done with the right tools. Make a decision that you will change your life and you will change your life. Think it was Roosevelt who said If you say you can or you can not. You will be right in both decisions. It is definitely your decision to make so remove YOUR labels and chose another label to wear. The difference will be dramatic and powerful but you will grow from the experience. 

All the best

C

thank you for the comments i am getting wise words on this site and just knowing people care enough to post on here is helping me.