Its got to be the final curtain

Welcome,

It’s positive that you have excluded and put blocking software on your devices, it shows that you want to give up gambling rather than just stop loosing.

Regarding your partner I think you have to be honest and keep being honest. You have a problem that has got out of control, how would you feel if your partner hid a problem from you? There may be anger and hurt at first but I’m sure your partner will want the best for you. Addiction breeds secrecy, break the trend, honesty gives you support and accountability.

Keep posting and reading.

Stay strong.

I'm sick of it all really, I know this sounds mad but im growing tired of betting and researching bets to put on, it seems that i have been doing this a lifetime. I have looked into my finance and have a little plan that will help ease the dept and consolidate most of it into one with any luck.

The worst thing is my fiance keeps saying to me that we are in an amazing place with regards to our realationship, we had a baby around 7 months ago and at the same time moved in together so you can imagine the stresses we've had. Thats one of the reasons im putting off telling her just yet, im hoping after a counselling session i will have the courage to tell her which will probably cut me up and be emotional for me to do.

Hi

I'm on the other side of the fence and sorry but your post is worrying. That doesn't mean you should cut and run, you're making a good start by coming to this forum but you sound like you're heading for further disaster and it's your call as to whether or not to let it happen.

How are you going to deal with the debt? Have you taken out a loan to consolidate? Secured on your house? If so, you're at a v high risk of gambling it away. You can't rely on will power otherwise you wouldn't be where you are now. And just think how you would feel afterwards. My apologies if I'm wrong but if I've guessed right take evasive action NOW. Hand over your finances or cancel the loan. And go to stepchange.

I don't know if you actually do want to stop but if so, there's plenty of advice on the forum. Your call as to whether it's action or lip service for you. The standard advice boils down to getting help plus blocks plus curtailing your access to cash or credit plus getting proper advice about the debts plus sticking with it. Up to you but nothing else will work.

re your fiancГ©e, you'll need her help too, which means telling her. I found out the hard way and it's much more difficult for me to forgive what I see as a lack of guts and of trust in me. She'll also find out eventually and the best of a difficult situation now is to tell her and demonstrate that you're committed to doing what it takes to stop. She'll need help too.

I hope it works out for you, for the baby's sake. They grow up and you don't want to be in the same position when the baby is old enough to ask difficult questions. Good luck.

CW

Hi CW,

You're totally right with you comments, i have came home and come clean to my fiance and for the last two hours we have both spent it crying and talking about my problem. With regards to the loans some are personal but one is secured to the house, im lucky in a sense that both of our wages cover all the bills and leaves us with around £400 to spend on a flat months wages but i often have overtime and bonuses paid.

As for wanting to stop I want to and have to before I get to a point where we cannot afford to pay our bills or eat. I have been in touch with gamcare about conselling and im just awating the local counseller to intouch to arrange our first meeting.

It feels good to come clean to my fiance who does recognise the gambling as an actual addiction which helps i guess.

RD

Glad to hear it, wish you well.

CW

Hi RD, welcome to recovery 🙂

& great work coming clean...I know you were really struggling with the thought of doing so! It sounds like she's very supportive but be prepared for her emotions to swing & please let her know that Gamcare offer support for loved ones too! You are in an amazing place but this recovery path is still a bumpy road! I know you said about downloading blockers to break your Time-Money-Location triangle but are you able to hand over your finances to your partner until you are stronger?

I would also suggest starting a recovery diary as you may find yourself @ a loose end & this is a great place to come to fight the urges that will rock up when you least expect them to!

Time to move forwards - ODAAT

if your in £25,000 worth of debt i would seriously consider looking into an IVA , especially if your going to spend the next 5 years paying that debt off anyway , the iva could potentially reduce that 25,000 to 12,000 which would be paid off over 60 months anyway

if you would like more debt advice please private mail me