It's not just about me anymore

Hi Jax ,

First of all congretulations !

How good you are getting this insight that gambling is not the solution ! Very good you are getting help , because you can use all the support possible ..

You are not alone and there are solutions out there for you to do different things with your time and energy .

I wish you all the best , take care of yourself .

Really struggling today as I can’t get the thoughts out of my head about trying to win back the money I have lost. Looking to the future all I can see are financial problems which is silly because if I just stop now and get my head down and work then I will be fine! I need a good slap around the head to remind me that it’s gambling that got me here in the first place and by continuing down that path will only end in pain. The next few months will be extremely tough as there is so much other stuff going on in my life as well, sometimes I feel like I’m crumbling under the pressure of it all.

Hi Jax , Good to see that you know gamblings got you where you are today !. It's not easy buddy letting go of what we've lost but thats exactly what you have to do . It's gone my friend and it aint coming back , Chasing it will only get you to a worse place than you are now . It does get easier , just give it some time !. Little steps and get all your blocks in place that will help you to abstain from betting and you will be fine . One day at a time Jax . Alan who will not gamble today !

Yesterday was the first full day (24 hours) that I haven't gambled in about 6 months. I only realised this morning, how crazy is that? How much time and money wasted looking at my phone hoping for a goal or 3 pointer! Still felling pretty low about it all but I know that will change. The past 6 months have flown by so quickly also and it almost feels like wasted time. In this period there have been big wins and big losses but I honestly couldn't put a figure on how much in total. Better to close the door on that as it can't be changed but learn from it to shape a better future

Well done on your first 24 hrs without gambling ! Here's to the next 24 !!! All the best Jax Alan ..

Welcome back to recovery Jax 🙂

Congratulations & yes, now is the time to step up! I am the product of a CG...I gambled as long as you have been alive & like you, my biggest problem was letting go of my losses! Everytime I left broke or because I'd been crow barred out of the place because it was closing I saw how futile gambling was & yet by the time my gambling triangle was back intact I just knew I had to gamble again to try & make some money back! I did this for years & years & years, loans, credit cards, remortgages, inheritance you name it, I threw it @ gambling & apart from a diary of shame I have nothing to show for all that money...We cannot win because we cannot stop! You've stopped before, you know how much better life is in recovery...How many chances do you need before you accept that gambling will not make you rich? Stop kidding yourself that you can control it, you can't, you are a compulsive gambler...Get back into recovery for you & everyone around you, stuff for the baby will come but more important than any stuff is a parent who puts their child 1st!

Well done on your 1st day 🙂 Time to draw a line under gambling once & forall, forever - ODAAT

well done on coming back to the site - look back at the past six months but dont stare, now is the time to refocus, collect your thoughts and make a concious effort in beating this. You need to draw up on all of the help and support you can!

Things that i found helpful in the start of my recovery ....

Total honesty with people close to you

minimise access to money

self exclusion

GA meetings

Gamcare counselling

keeping busy

I think alot of people try to do this alone without any support and they are setting themselves up for a big fail, you really need to draw upon every resourse available.

good lukc

JAX how are you getting on pal?

Since my last entry things a lot has went on in general. Fall outs and discussions about everything all came to a head and finally I revealed to my OH about my gambling and the debt I find myself in. Like the balloon since my last post I started betting again and won initially. At the weekend I lost the 200 profit I had and another 100 of my own money, will I ever learn? I need to stop right now, I know that but I don’t seem to be able to do it. I always dream of that one big win which reels me back in. I just need to get my head down and work hard to get out of this debt. It will take about 5 years but you have to start somewhere! No point sitting here in another 5 years still in debt (or even bigger debt).

I got a part time job recently (I have a full time 9 to 5 job also) for some extra cash and even though it was hectic my first night I actually quite enjoyed it! Got paid 60 for the shift which is decent considering it’s only for one night. I will get one shift every fortnight at least but hopefully be more than that. Just need to cut out the gambling as it would wipe out all the hard work and it would be for nothing.

The little bundle of joy will be arriving soon and I can safely say my life will never be the same again after that. I can feel the weight of responsibility on my shoulders already having to provide for the 3 of us. I have never wanted much responsibility in the past and now that I have it – well it scares me to bits.

Actually being a father excites me. I want to be the doting Dad that would do anything for his kids and provides for them. I look forward to watching them grow up happy and full of life where anything is possible for them. I will give them all the love in my heart and protect them with everything I can. For them I will stop gambling. For them I will work harder than ever before to build a loving home for the 3 of us.