This Afternoon people.
Today I've decided that enough is enough. The past two years I've been telling myself that I haven't got a problem.
A little bit about myself, I'm 22 years of age, first started gambling at the age of 17. Started doing little £2 football bets, even then spending most of my very little money on bets. When I turned 18 the first thing I was excited about was creating an online betting account! My £40 a week college money would come in on a Friday and I would stay up until midnight on a Thursday and stick the lot online playing roulette.
Then I joined the Army and boom! My first real wage. I was straight to the Internet suite to get some online slots in. Gambling £200+ seemed like nothing as I didn't have to pay for food and I was 18... Why should I save anything? As the wages increased so did the gambling. Having some good days and bad days but still it didn't really bother me.
Then I found out about a payday loan! What I could get money in my bank within 10 minutes? Happy days some more online slots for me! I've got nothing to worry about, no bills, don't have to pay for food and I have a bed to sleep in every night.
But like many of you probably know payday loans are a vicious cycle easy to get in to but very hard to get out of. One month I can remember having only £40 to survive on for the whole month, bare in mind it was the 2nd... So I turned to my Dad, told him of my payday loans and he helped me out. But still didn't tell him about my gambling.
3 years on and the gambling has got worse, still in the Army earning a pretty impressive wage for my age, but for what? To throw it all online and spend £300+ within 20minuites? Then going back and doing exactly the same the week after. Having no money to get by has been really affecting me but have been putting on a brave face and sucking it all up.
I constantly think about gambling I feel like I can't control it. It's all I think about.
Thanks for reading.
Chris.
Hi Chris
I used to spend all my money on gambling. I was never in the army, but I was a pub manager and also had all my food provided and bills paid. I earnt good money and it was mine to gamble every week....and gamble I did for many, many years; it ruled my thoughts and my life.
I have now been two and a half years gambling free and think very differently to how I did then. I was addicted to gambling and modern academics and medical professionals will confirm that it is no different to drug addiction in terms of its effect on the brain. I personally found that the more I understood the problem the more I was able to understand myself and my relationship with gambling.
I can recommend a number of sources of information and support that might help you to successfully tackle your own issues. It won't be easy, but you know you have a problem and want to do something about it, so that is a great start.
K9 Web Protection www1.k9webprotection.com
Free downloadable software for your computer to block access to gambling websites.
Gamblers Anonymous www.gamblersanonymous.org.uk
Three informative GA publications for newcomers are; ‘Questions and Answers’; ‘The Wheel of Misfortune’ and ‘Towards the first 90 Days’. You can access a copy of these from the website.
Gamcare www.gamcare.org.uk
A nationwide service, offering free advice and counselling to problem gamblers.
Smart Recovery www.smartrecovery.org.uk
Self-management and recovery training – a science based approach to overcoming addiction.
NHS Choices www.nhs.uk/Livewell/addiction/Pages/gamblingaddiction.aspx
The Samaritans www.samaritans.org
Help with debt management. (Free from a registered charity)
www.stepchange.org/Howwecanhelpyou/DMPDebtmanagementplan.aspx
Gambling addiction can make good people do bad things or act out of character. It is important to accept that you cannot change the past, but you can control what happens today and in the future. It is how you deal with things from now on that will define you as a person, not the mistakes of yesterday.
I understand that in the armed forces it is probably not an option to admit you have a gambling problem to your colleagues or superiors, but you will get much support from this site.
Good luck my friend.
Ken
Thanks for your reply mate. Just a quick update.
Haven't gambled today. Don't get me wrong its all I've been thinking about today. Gave my girlfriend my bank card and my cash to give me some 'pocket money' each day. This website is such a help to read all the treads. Tomorrow is the next step.
Hi Chris
Just because you decide to give up doesn't mean you won't get urges. Remember gambling is an addictive activity and over the years you have become an addict. Don't question your motivation, because this is about more than motivation. Many people don't beat this first time. Whatever happens, don't stop trying. If you are determined and persevere you will get stronger and the urges will get weaker.
At GA they say 'one day at a time'. This is great advice, especially in the early days, because although everyone is very different, it could be many months before you can truly begin to relax. New hobbies, pastimes and interests are important as you need to replace your gambling with other activities.
Well done for what you have already achieved; one day can be a long time in recovery. It will get easier and life will get a whole lot better.
Take care
Ken
Where would you go to a ga or is it online
Website is www.gamblersanonymous.org.uk
Hi Chris
Sorry but I don't get on this site as often as I would like, as the majority of my support is given through GA which keep me busy along with the other pastimes and interests that I have taken up over the past few years since I stopped gambling. The GA website will tell you where your nearest meeting is. I am pretty sure that there are not any GA meetings within the armed services. There really should be as I am sure it is a significant problem. Gambling is an easy but destructive way to escape everyday stresses and uncomfortable feelings and memories.
I really hope that you are doing well and will make a point of checking in over the next few days to see if you have replied. If you are interested and live within travelling distance, the GA meeting that I lead is in Kingston upon Thames.
Take care my friend and seek help wherever you can.
Ken
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