Hi All
I am a newbie to this forum, I have been gambling off and on for about twenty years.
it started by putting some change into the fruit machine when out with my mates. Eventually that turned into visiting pubs specifically to gamble, eventually I started online gambling on the slots. About eight years ago I started borrowing money so I could gamble and was blowing all my wages in one evening, I ended up using payday loan companies to hide my losses from my partner. Eventually the payday loans were more than my fortnightly wages and I was in a massive debt spiral as well as using any money I could get to win myself out of this hole.
Eventually I hit a really low point and the depression and guilt overcame me, I referred myself for counselling and was able to get my life back on track.
I went for about 9 months without gambling but then it started to slip in every now and then but overall I was doing well. This changed over the past six months where gambling was the reason I would go to the pub, not to socialise but to put money in the machines. I would do a bit of a pub crawl around my local area and purchase alcohol in each venue - the drink made me lose my inhibitions and this resulted in me gambling more and more and taking all money I could daily withdrawal. Then I discovered the video slots machines in the pubs the cartoon characters stood out and the extra gamble features gave me an increased high when winning. I researched one of the machines online as I wanted to know what a particular feature did and found the same game in an online gambling site, I deposited my first £20 and won £500 straight away, I replayed all the winnings and found loads of ‘fun’ games to play, I started chasing my winnings and ended up losing a further £300. This continued for a few weeks and I have lost about £2000 in about two months. Last night I lost every penny from my bank account and I only have £20 to my name. I couldn’t sleep last night and was so anxious I was throwing up eventually I woke up my partner and told her- she was great she went straight online and found GamCare and got me to phone up, I have been referred for counselling and am hopeful this will help me put some long term solutions in place as well as looking at the reason for the gambling.
I am only 15 hours gamble free at the moment but this is Day one of a new me.
Sounds a very familiar story . The good thing is that you have recognised that horrible feeling when the dust settles and you realise you have gone too far . For others we eat , sleep and repeat until the situation gets deeper and deeper . We can’t win , not ever because we can’t stop . It’s a self perpetuating cycle of getting paid , immediately blowing everything and then wondering how you can cope with real life money until the next pay day . For some of us it’s gone on for over 20 years (like myself ) . Fortunately for me my income is ok and after 6 months I’m totally out of the hole financially and more importantly positive about myself and my surroundings / family . You see it isn’t just about the money , more deeper than that . I managed to go through life without any serious kind of mental scars so I am one of the lucky ones . Perhaps it’s because I simply chose to not let it affect me and was in complete denial . Anyway to cut a long story short , I’m good . You can be good too, just put the blocks in place and you admitting you have a problem is the first and biggest step . Good luck and any advice or support you need it’s here
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
